


Barnes & Wilson: SHIELD Agents

by Unclesteeb



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes: vigilante, Commander Rogers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Flirting, Frottage, M/M, SHIELD Agent AU, SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes, SHIELD Agent Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Has Issues, descriptions of violence, fake relationship only in chapter one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:46:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7620673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unclesteeb/pseuds/Unclesteeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wilson,” Fury starts, snapping Sam out of his own head, “Before we continue I need to know that I'll have your utmost cooperation in this. I need to know you're in before Steve and I give you any more information.”</p><p>Sam eyes the brown-haired guy next to him suspiciously. He knows he's in already. Sam swore to protect when he joined SHIELD. Plus, he's a bit too curious to say no now. “Of course, Director, Commander. I'm in.”</p><p>Steve cracks a little smile again. “Good to hear.” Then he takes a big sigh. “Agent Wilson, I’d like you to meet James Barnes.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On a Boat

Monday through Friday, Sam Wilson’s alarm goes off at 5:30 am.

He allows himself to snooze it a few times twice a week. The other three days he goes for a run around the Capitol. He runs until his lungs burn and he works up a nice sweat. Then he goes home, showers, and heads into work. It's a predictable sort of life, most of the time. But Sam likes that. His job is anything less than predictable. Except for the paperwork, no matter how many exotic countries he gets whisked off to, no matter how many people try to kill him in one day there's always paperwork. 

 

Sam’s called to Fury’s office shortly after lunch. It's a rare office-only day for him, so he's hoping he is going to get a new assignment. There's only so much time Sam can spend at SHIELD HQ before he starts to get antsy. He heads up to the director’s office. Kim from HR gives Sam a nice wave and a smile which he returns gladly. Sam enjoys his job and he's a damn good agent too. He's recently spent some time with Commander Rogers’ elite STRIKE unit. He was excited about the opportunity to do so. Steve is a good guy and a good friend too. Sam was more than happy to watch his six. Maybe that's what the meeting with Fury is about. Maybe Sam’s getting a promotion to Rogers’ STRIKE team full time. 

Sam gives Fury’s office door a few light knocks before he opens it and steps in. Commander Rogers is there, along with Fury. Normally, this would excite the hell out of Sam, but there's also another guy with them, sitting in one of the chair’s by Fury’s desk. The guy has long, scraggly brown hair and slumped shoulders. He looks tense, uncomfortable. His presence instantly sets Sam on his defense. He clears his throat and speaks regardless, “Director Fury, you wanted to see me?”

“Agent Wilson. Thank you for joining us. Please, take a seat.” Fury tells him with what looks to Sam like an amused smirk. 

Sam eases himself into the chair opposite the brown-haired guy. He glances over to him briefly. The guy has both hands curled around each other in his lap. He's wearing a brown leather glove on the left one. Sam tries to see his face but can only make out a strong, square jaw behind the curtain of brown hair.

“Sam. I want you to know that I think you're an astounding asset to my STRIKE team.” Commander Rogers says with a hint of a smile. He flits his eyes to the guy next to Sam and the smile falls right off his face. “I trust you. Nick trusts you. That's why we’re giving you this assignment.”

Sam eyes Steve and Nick curiously. Assignment? He wonders if the brown-haired guy needs protection. He's not a lot bigger than Sam, maybe he has a few pounds of muscle that Sam doesn't, but he's not carrying himself like someone who needs protection. His muscles are tense- like a guard dog waiting to strike. Sam wonders if the guy is a prisoner of some sort waiting for transport. That would explain the weird way he hasn't even tried to meet Sam’s eyes yet. 

“Wilson,” Fury starts, snapping Sam out of his own head, “Before we continue I need to know that I'll have your utmost cooperation in this. I need to know you're in before Steve and I give you any more information.”

Sam eyes the guy next to him suspiciously. He knows he's in already. Sam swore to protect when he joined SHIELD. Plus, he's a bit too curious to say no now. “Of course, Director, Commander. I'm in.”

Steve cracks a little smile again. “Good to hear.” Then he takes a big sigh. “Agent Wilson, I’d like you to meet James Barnes.”

The brown-haired guy looks up and over to Sam then. The first thing Sam notices is how unbelievably blue the guy’s eyes are, almost like they’re gray. The second thing Sam notices is how they don’t look quite right, like maybe this guy’s seen too much, maybe even too little. Sam shifts a little under the guy’s gaze. He’s a good-looking guy, weird pretty eyes aside. He has a strong jaw and dimpled chin that are both slightly covered by stubble. He has strong, angular cheekbones that make Sam think that if the guy weren’t so creepy looking, he could even be a model. He has strong eyebrows that make his eyes appear to be darker than they are. His eyes are big and almond-shaped and if he hadn’t just pushed his wavy hair behind his ear, they would be completely obscured by his bangs. 

Then the guy completely shocks Sam by offering him a hand to shake, then an actual smile. “Hi, I’m James.” he says. His accent is faintly something, faintly…

It takes Sam a minute to place the accent, “You’re Russian?” he asks James. James’ smile falters a little so Sam tries make up for lost ground. He reaches out and grasps James’ big hand warmly. “Good to meet you man, I’m Sam Wilson.”

“You heard right, Wilson. He's Russian.” Fury supplies. His gaze has hardened into something serious, for a second Sam wonders if he's said something wrong, but then Fury continues. “Barnes comes to us by way of Hydra.” He stops and lets it sink in.

Sam’s eyes widen. Hydra? The guy is most definitely a prisoner then. Why is he sitting here with no shackles? Why are both Fury and Rogers just letting Barnes relax in this office and introducing him so casually to Sam? 

Sam must let more of his confusion show on his face than he realizes because Rogers steps in, “He's with us. Turned himself in. He’s here to do the right thing now.” He looks at James with almost a soft expression, Rogers definitely knows something Sam doesn't, maybe something Fury doesn’t. Whatever it is, Rogers obviously cares about the guy. Sam can't seem to figure out why exactly Commander Steve Rogers would even give an ex-hydra agent the time of day. What Steve’s supplied Sam with doesn't appease his worries at all. In fact, it makes Sam more confused than he was a few seconds ago.

“Okay.” Sam lets out, not sure what else he’s supposed to say. 

“Barnes was Hydra’s best sharpshooter,” Fury says. , _Assassin_ , Sam thinks automatically. He gulps without meaning to. His stomach is starting to churn. Why is he here with an assassin? What are Fury and Rogers getting at?

Fury continues, “Since he surrendered himself to us and has more than proven himself to both Commander Rogers and I that he is working for the correct side, we’ve decided that SHIELD could really use a man with his abilities.” 

“Okay,” Sam repeats. 

“Sam,” Steve says sternly, the ‘Commander doesn’t wanna hear your bullshit’ voice fully coming out. “With you and your Falcon training and James and his Sharpshooting and other abilities,” _Assassination abilities_ , Sam thinks. “Director Fury and I have decided that you two would be an outstanding match We’ve decided to pair you and Barnes up on a special elite STRIKE team. STRIKE team beta.” 

Sam’s world stops. He looks between Fury and Rogers again, like he’s waiting for them to burst into laughter then say, “Haha just kidding! Take him down to the prison. Thanks, Sam!”

Fury sighs in annoyance, “You and Barnes will specialize in covert operations. Your ability to see from above along with his shooting skills will allow you both to take out targets without ever being before they even know what's coming. Barnes also specializes in under-cover operations. Commander Rogers has informed me that you also have a unique talent at under-cover ops. Isn’t that right, Sam?”

Fury’s use of Sam’s first name is meant to startle him. It does. “Yes, Sir.” Sam manages. He risks a glance over to Barnes again. His hair is back over his eyes and his shoulders are slumped down. Sam can tell he’s making the guy a little uncomfortable. He’s not sure that he cares. The way Steve’s looking at him though tells him that he probably should.

“As the members of STRIKE team Beta, the two of you will be ranked as two of our highest agents. Sam, you said you were in. I’m going to assume you still are.” Steve says, eyeing him carefully, eyeing him in a way that tells Sam Steve’s going to be calling him the second he walks into his apartment tonight to ream him out. 

“Of course, Commander.” Sam says with a little more bite than he expected. Sam sees Barnes slump even further into himself in the chair next to him. Now he does feel a little bad. Just a little. 

“Barnes, anything from you?” Fury asks. 

Barnes straightens up, pushes his hair behind his ears so that his intensely devastating eyes can be seen again. He, surprisingly, claps a hand on Sam’s shoulder. Sam only flinches a little. Barnes says, “I’m looking forward to working with you, Wilson.” in a tone that could be friendly if Sam knows he hadn’t just been a total jerk to the guy for the past few minutes. 

Fury looks in-between Wilson and Barnes cautiously. Rogers furrows his eyebrows until the line that he gets when he’s really distressed appears between them. 

Fury sighs, “You two are dismissed.” 

Sam and Barnes both rise quickly, almost trying to race each other to the door of the office. 

“Oh, and Gentlemen?” Fury calls after them. Both Sam and James turn around. “Your first assignment is tomorrow morning. Be here at 0400 ready to get on a jet.” Then he smiles dangerously. “Make sure you pack light civilian clothes. You two are going on a vacation.”

Sam returns to his desk but before he can even start to think about his conversation with Fury and Rogers and him and Barnes’ impending ‘vacation’ he's pulled off to question a domestic terrorist he helped apprehend the week prior that’s finally decided to talk. The interrogation is smooth but runs long and by the time Sam gets home he's thinking of a hot meal and his bed more than anything else.

 

Of course, as he predicted, Steve Rogers calls him the second he walks in his front door.

“Wilson.” Sam says, trying to answer the call with as much enthusiasm as he can muster.

“Hey Sam.” Steve says. He's lost all of his previous authoritative tone. Sam can tell immediately he's calling as a friend.

“Hey Steve.” Sam says back.

Steve let's out a long breath on the line. Sam knows he's choosing his words wisely. “Listen, about earlier… this Barnes.”

“What about the Hydra assassin you and Fury have partnered me with?”

“Jesus, Sam. Have a little faith me in me.”

“Oh yeah?” Sam's exhausted and hungry. He's letting himself get defensive quickly. “Why should I?”

“ _Sam_ ,” Steve sounds like he's pleading. “Just trust me on this one. James is good. At what he does and on the inside too. I'm a damn good judge in character, you know that. Plus how he was brought in, he-” Steve stops, choosing his words again. “I can't say much. I don't want to say much. But just know that SHIELD’s had our eye on Barnes for a damn long time. He's been unfaithful to Hydra for a while now. I spent a lot of time with the guy when we first brought him in. I trust him. You trust me. You should trust him.” Steve says frankly. “Come on Sam. You know how much I hate hydra.”

“Steve I know. You've been fighting against them your entire insanely-long life, Cap.” He pulls out the old nickname for Steve’s alter ego. Steve Rogers hasn't been Captain America in decades. He retired to work with his wife at SHIELD when Sam was a kid. “But I'm sure you can understand why I'm hesitant to.”

“Of course I can, Sam. All I'm asking is that you do your best.” He pauses. “And you should probably start off with your best. The mission you guys are starting tomorrow, well, it's not the most complicated one you've ever been on, but it's going to take both you and Barnes’ full cooperation.” He says the last words slowly, to make them stick in Sam’s brain. Sam knows that Steve won't divulge too much over the phone, but that he really wants Sam to read between the lines. 

“Okay. I'll try.” Sam promises. Because he will. Sam will always do his job.

“Good.” Steve says, then he huffs out something that sounds like the start of a laugh. “Hey, by the way, do you get sea sick?”

 

0400 comes before Sam wants it to. He drags himself out of bed around 3:00am, stops to grab a coffee on the way, then lugs himself to SHIELD HQ along with a suitcase full of what he hopes is vacation appropriate attire. 

Maria Hill greets him at the door to the landing strip where a jet is apparently waiting his arrival. 

“Wilson.” She nods her head in greeting. “Here's everything you need to know is in this file. You and Barnes are tasked with taking down a small, but thorough group of arms dealers that make trades through cruise ships. This might just be recon for now, but if you can get us enough info for an arrest when you make it back to port that would be ideal. You two are to try and identify as many men in the group as possible. You'll find some possible suspects in the file. We need you two to try and get eyes on them to confirm.”

Sam nods and accepts the file folder from Hill’s hands. 

“We've already got your gear in your room, along with your wings.” She looks over to Sam then, “Although please try not to use them if you can help it. Most of your work with have to be done covertly, on foot and at night. I've provided you with all the specs on the ship, as well as where we think they might be storing the weapons. Remember, Sam- covert is key. We won't be able to just come and pick you up in the middle of the ocean without raising suspicion. If things get bad we can pick you up on day three when you dock in St. John or on day four when you dock in The Bahamas, so try and keep your riskiest activities to the nights before those days. You'll be back on day five when we can hopefully make an arrest.” 

Sam huffs, “So basically Rogers sent us on a little kid mission to get our feet wet?”

She gives him a smirk, “This just means you can enjoy your first day and a half on board with James!”

Sam laughs bitterly, “Oh I'm sure I will. Thanks, Maria.” She stops walking next to him when he's about to board the jet. 

“Oh and Sam?” She calls out from behind him. Sam turns around to face her again. “Catch!”

She tosses him a small black cloth bag. “Enjoy your vacation with your husband, Mr. Buchanan.”

She turns and walks away without another word. Sam’s too busy fumbling with the bag to notice. It can't be. They _wouldn't_. Sam opens the bag and gapes at what he finds. Apparently they would. Sam dumps out two gold wedding rings into his hand. 

“Son of a bitch!” He swears, then boards the jet.

 

He spots Barnes in one of the empty seats. He's obscured by his curtain of hair again, but instead of the black tac gear Sam saw him in the previous day, he's wearing a light blue tee and jeans. Sam wonders if the shirt matches his weird-ass eyes for a moment before he tells his mind to shut the hell up.

He plops himself down in the seat next to Barnes. 

“James.” He says by way of greeting.

“Sam.” Barnes replies. 

“So, um, you get briefed?”

“Yeah.” James holds up a file identical to the one Sam has. He grins. “You excited to be married?”

Sam rolls his eyes but lets himself smile, “Totally. Hey, it says here you're from South Carolina, Mr. Buchanan. South Carolina by way of Russia?”

Sam sees the first genuine smile that Barnes has offered him so far spread across his face. He leans his body into Sam’s space a little then says, “Oh sweetie, I’d never go to Russia. It's too darn cold.” in the most sweet southern accent Sam’s heard since-

His breath gets caught in his throat. Worry flickers across James’ face before he raises an eyebrow and says, “What's wrong, sweetie? Didn't expect me to sound so good?” He’s smirking now, challenging Sam.

_I didn't expect you to sound exactly like-_

“Oh, baby,” Sam says, playing along now and putting a hand gently on Barnes’ thigh. Sam can feel James tense then relax under his touch. “It's just that you normally call me honey, that's all.”

Sam can tell by the look on Barnes’ face that the game is on. They're playing each other now, seeing who will break first. 

Barnes says, “You're normally not so sweet.” He gives Sam a burning look and leans in further, their faces only inches apart now. “But you know I like it when you're sweet, don't you, baby?”

Sam’s breath is still stuck in his throat. He can feel his cheeks heat up. It must be some kind of Pavlovian response to a man with a southern accent. He says, “You like it when I'm sweet, but you like it when I'm bad too.”

Barnes licks his lips, Sam makes the mistake of looking down at them. They look wet and pink and so kissable. Barnes smirks, he noticed. “You gonna be bad for me? You want that?” The leans in even further and tilts his head gently like he's going to kiss Sam and right now Sam can't think of anything else that he wants more than for James to kiss him and-

“Time to buckle up, gentlemen!” The pilot of the jet calls from the front of the plane.

Sam and James jerk apart quickly. Sam takes a deep, steadying breath before looking over to James. He looks smug as shit, even though his cheeks are a little flushed. Sam narrows his eyes at him. James laughs heartily, then says back in his normal slight-Russian accent, “I assume you have our rings, husband?”

Sam scowls at Barnes before taking out one of the gold rings from the cloth bag and sliding it on to his left ring finger. He tosses the bag at James and it smacks him in the face. Sam cackles.

It's going to be a hell of a few days.

 

The check in process goes well. Mr. And Mr. Buchanan are escorted to their room by a very nice guide. 

“Thank you so much, darlin’.” Barnes says, southern accent and charm turned back on. “My husband and I are looking forward to our time on this glorious ship so very much. Isn't that right dear?” 

“Very much so!” Sam says, taking the opportunity to slide his hand around James’ hip and pinch the skin there. James’ happy expression doesn't falter, he's good.

He says, “Come on, dear, let's get in and see our room!” Then leads Sam, rather roughly into their stateroom, kicking the door shut with his foot behind him.

It's a teeny-tiny room, with predictably, one bed. There's a few sea-related paintings on the cream-colored walls. The bed takes up most of the space. Sam would have to walk sideways to get around it. The comforter of the bed is a soft white and real pattern. In the corner there's a desk/ mirror combo with an office chair. The tv is mounted on the wall underneath the one dresser. All in all it's a nice, cozy room. Sam lets himself imagine staying here with someone he actually wants to spend time with. Being in such a small space would make you really want to be close to somebody. Sam swallows hard and looks over to Barnes who is inspecting the room for bugs. He doesn't seem to find any, but pulls out a black duffel bag and unzips it. Inside the bag is basically an arsenal. Hill wasn't kidding when she said they stocked the room in advance.

Barnes lets out a low whistle. “Very nice.” He licks his lips and eyes a particularly large sniper rifle. 

Sam clears his throat loudly, “When you two are done having a moment maybe we could get acquainted with the ship’s layout more.”

Barnes replaces the rifle but pulls out a smaller handgun and sets it on the bedside table. “Or...” He flops down roughly on the bed. “We could take a nap. Come on Wilson! We've been up since the middle of the night.”

Sam groans. “Really, James?”

He shrugs and kicks his shoes off. “Yes. Agent hill said that we could use the first day on board however we’d like. And I would like to nap. Won't you join me?” Then his eyes darken and he slips back into his southern drawl. “Come on, baby, please?” He bats his eyelashes a few times for emphasis.

Sam has to breathe out of his noise to contain the flash of hot desire he feels hearing Barnes use that accent. Why did he have to pretend to be a southerner? Why? What did Sam do to deserve this?

“Absolutely not,” Sam says. “I'll just go explore the ship by myself. Some husband you are.” 

James slips back into his normal accent and says, “I'm a fabulous husband. Go on, enjoy your boat. I'll enjoy my nap. Be a good boy and find the entrance to the crew room in the bottom of the ship.”

Sam quickly turns on his heel and exits the room. He doesn't even know what to say to that. 

Sam makes his way through the ship. The first long hallway he encounters is nothing but staterooms. There's seven decks on the ship. If the maps that Hill gave him are correct, there should be a crew’s room on the first level of the ship right next to one of the more popular bars. Sam and James’ room is on the fourth level of the ship. He decides to take James’ advice and be a _good boy_ and search for the entrance to the crew room. 

He heads downstairs via the elevator. It’s glass so that you can see everything down below. Going down in it creates the illusion that you’re free-falling. Sam can see the entire ship, the innocent people walking around, the families laughing with their children. It shakes him a little how easy going these people seem. There’s no rush, there’s no bustle, there’s no danger. It makes him feel a pang of want in his chest. He lets himself drift for a second and imagine himself with a quieter life, one that he could have had. He imagines himself with a house in the suburbs and a dog. He imagines himself with maybe a job in HR instead of an agent position. He lets himself imagine the life that Riley wanted. Just the suggestion of Riley’s name makes Sam’s heart hurt a little more. He wonders what Riley’s doing right now. Sam thinks that Riley could be any one of these people, a father maybe. Someone who could leave the life that they were living behind and start anew. Someone better than Sam.

The elevator dings when it reaches the bottom floor, snapping Sam out of his thoughts. He refocuses himself quickly and heads to the port side of the ship where the crew room is supposed to be located. He keeps his hands in his pockets and tries to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. The last thing he wants is for someone to be able to recognize him. He’s pretty sure that James and him are going to have to take a trip down here again soon. Besides the brightly lit entrance to the bar there’s a small door. On the other side of the door there’s a decorative pillar. Sam ducks behind it and pulls out his cell phone, trying to look busy. 

He doesn’t have to scope out the area long before he sees two men walking toward the entrance to the crew room door. Sam recognizes one of them immediately, a short and stocky brunette man named Lucas Jones from the file that he was given earlier of potential crew members involved. He pulls his phone up close to his face like he can’t read the text in front of him and quickly sends James a text letting him know who Sam’s found and that he needs to come down and meet Sam immediately. The two men are almost into the door when Lucas stops directly in front of the other side of the pillar Sam’s resting his left shoulder against. 

“Hey, man.” Lucas says in a thick New England accent . He has an eyebrow raised and a fake smile plastered on his face. Sam’s heartbeat picks up in his chest. “You lost? This here’s a crew door.” 

“Oh!” Sam replies, playing dumb. “I was looking for the bar.” 

Lucas raises the other eyebrow. “Dude it’s right there.” He points to the bar’s entrance a few feet away from where Sam’s standing. 

Sam barks out a loud laugh, “Oh shit! Thanks, man.” Sam keeps up the laughter and walks himself straight into the bar. He knows two things already: that Lucas is definitely involved and that Hill’s estimate of where the weapons are kept is correct. 

Sam takes a seat at the end of the bar so that he can keep an eye out for James. He wants to look busy and normal when Lucas walks back out of the door (Sam’s sure that Lucas will be looking for him) so he orders a Jack and Coke. He takes a few sips out of it. It’s stronger than he expected a cruise ship drink to be. Sam takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, letting the adrenalin from his run in with Lucas to fade out of his system. As soon as the adrenalin starts to fade, the earlier hurt Sam felt from thinking about Riley returns. The sudden rush of it makes Sam sigh out loud. 

“Hey, cutie. What’s got you lookin’ so down?” A pretty brown haired woman with a southern accent hops up onto the seat next to Sam. Seriously. Again with the southern accents? Sam finds himself unable to do anything but respond to her. 

“Oh nothing much.” he says, leaning in to her a little. She’s got the cutest freckles on the bridge of her nose and deep, sweet brown eyes. Her lips are full and shiny from gloss. “I’m okay now that you’re here.” he gives her a big gap-toothed grin. She’s really gorgeous, Sam’s already feeling a little better in all honesty. 

She laughs and holds her chest. “Oh my! What a line! That work often for you?”

Sam chuckles and takes another sip of his drink. “Not at all.” 

She smiles at him for a moment before leaning in and matching Sam’s flirtatious body posture. “I can’t imagine why. You’re extremely handsome.” 

Sam picks his drink up off of the counter and spins his stool to face her. “Oh really? Tell me more.”

The woman’s eyes narrow and she looks just to the left of Sam’s shoulder right before Sam feels warm palm grasp him. 

“Hey Sweetie!” It’s Barnes. What wonderful timing. He leans in and gives Sam a kiss on the cheek and wraps his arm around Sam, pulling him so that his lips are brushing against Sam’s ear. 

“We are married, you asshole.” James grits out, the words sounding even harsher in his russian accent. Realization floods through Sam. He’d just been flirting with a pretty girl when he and James were supposed to be married. When James leans away from his ear Sam gives him a kiss on the cheek to convey that he heard James loud and clear. 

“Hey baby! You caught me flirting with my new friend over here.” he gestures to the brunette who looks a little lost honestly. “You know how I get when I’ve had a few.”

“Oh that’s my Sammy!” James says, laughing. He squeezes Sam’s shoulder with his left hand. Wow, that thing is strong and why does it feel so weird? “I’m sorry miss, you’ll have to excuse him. He loves to flirt when he gets a little tipsy.”

The woman’s eyes brighten. “Oh that’s alright! He’s a delight! You boys should stay with me and drink a little. Keep a young lady company.”

Sam’s about to decline when out of the corner of his eye he sees Lucas and his goon exit the crew door. Lucas heads straight into the bar to presumably look for Sam. Sam tucks himself closer into James’ shoulder and pulls his right arm tightly across his body to effectively hide. 

“Of course!” he says. He looks James right in the eyes, “We’d love to.”

James bites the corner of his lip and gives Sam a little nod, understanding. He turns to the brunette woman, “We’d love to!”

 

Sam wakes up to the loudest noise he's ever heard. He hears a loud groan and some shuffling before the noise stops. Then he feels a warm, strong arm wrap itself around his bare middle. He's suddenly enveloped in a warm body, pulling him close. He hums because it feels so nice to be held. He enjoys the feeling of warm breath on his neck, the feeling of lips gently touching the space behind his ear. There’s a strong thigh sandwiched in-between his. It's the comfiest Sam’s felt in months, maybe years.

Then he remembers who he's sharing a bed with. 

Sam’s eyes fly open. “Barnes!” He says, struggling to get out of James’ grip. “Get off me!”

“Mmmph.” Barnes says, still sleepy, then he rolls off of Sam, freeing him. Sam takes note of his own state of dress first. He’s only wearing his boxers. Then he looks over at James. James is wearing nothing but a fucking metal arm, the top of his ass is sticking out over the blankets.

Sam blinks his eyes a few times to make sure he’s not still drunk. “You have a metal arm?” he asks, bewildered. 

“Yes.” James replies into the pillow. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet. “I've been wearing a special sleeve to hide it since we’ve been here.”

Sam blinks again and shakes his head. “You’re naked?” 

“Yes.” James repeats, grumpier this time.

“Did we-uh.” He doesn’t even want to say it. 

James smirks, eyes still closed. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“What?”

“Do you feel like we had sex?”

Sam scoffs, “How would I know if we had sex?”

James’ smirk grows. “You seem like a bottom.”

Sam sputters, “Well, well- uh- that’s not even important right now and for your information no it does not feel like we had sex.” He huffs, then says, “Maybe we did and your dick is just so small I can’t even tell.”

 

James does open his eyes at this. He laughs, full on. “Oh Wilson.” Then he rolls over and pulls the sheet completely off of himself exposing- yeah if they had sex Sam would be able to tell, probably for days. 

Sam snaps his eyes shut. “Really man?”

James laughs again. “Hey, you’re the one throwing out accusations left and right. Now that you know, you want to have sex? We probably have time for a quickie. You are my husband after all.” 

Sam’s eyes pop open and he gapes at James. The fucker’s smirking at him like the little shit he is. “You’re disgusting.” Sam tells him. Then he goes off to shower, leaving James cackling behind him. There’s no way Sam’s having sex on the job. _Especially_ with a rather insufferable ex-assassin. 

 

After they’ve both showered and dressed they order room service for breakfast and look over the ship’s plans to decide how to proceed. 

“So you saw Lucas Jones leave the room, yes?” James asks with a mouthful of eggs.

Sam nods as he chews, since he’s not a barbarian. 

James rips off the corner of his toast then says, “He would recognize you if he saw you again, wouldn’t he.”

Sam nods, more mutely this time.   
James chews and screws his face up in thought. “Then we just don’t let him see you again. I’ll go down there and check it out alone.” 

Sam gapes and drops his fork loudly. “No way Barnes! Have you lost your goddamn mind? There’s no way I’m missing out on this.”

“Wilson! It’s just recon for now. I’m only going to try and confirm a few more of the crew members as weapons dealers and try to confirm where they hold the arms. It’s only day two of this trip. We can’t risk you getting made so early on.”

“Then let’s wait! We only have one confirmed crew member to arrest when we reach the states again. We’re going to need a few more for this to be a success, especially if they stay quiet and put up a fight when it comes time for the ship to be searched by SHIELD. You and I can do more recon at the bar, then when we have more confirmed goons we can go in and confirm the hiding spot of the weapons together either before day three or on the night of day four.” 

Barnes eyes him carefully, then takes a sip of his coffee without his eyes ever leaving Sam’s. Sam stares back just as hard. He’s not letting Barnes do this without him. He’s not letting some Hydra idiot call all the shots for him either. 

“Fine.” Barnes says, relinquishing whatever control he thought he had. “We’ll do it your way.”

 

Sam spends the rest of his morning hungover and in bed. He tries to sleep away his pounding headache before he's forced to go back to the bar to snoop around again tonight. Barnes, who apparently has the world’s strongest liver, spends his morning exploring the ship. Sam dozes comfortably by himself in the bed before Barnes comes back. There's no window in their room so it’s completely dark, even in the daytime. 

“Do I have to get up?” He grumpily asks Barnes as he's milling about the stateroom. 

“Not yet, Princess.” Barnes assures him, southern accent turned on again. Sam feels his cheeks flush and is thankful again for the darkness of the room. He groans when he feels Barnes’ weight enter the bed. 

“Really? I can't even nap without you?”

“Nope.” Barnes answers. He shifts around a little, bumping into Sam a whole bunch, obviously trying to find a comfortable spot where he can rest.

Sam groans again, frustrated and ready to get a few more hours of rest. “Just spoon me already so I can go back to sleep.”

Barnes barks out a laugh. “Oh darlin’ you really got me going now.”

“Shut up!” Sam whines. 

Barnes slips back into his normal accent and says, “You're very cranky.” He wraps his arm around Sam’s waist and pulls Sam tight to his body. “Now get some rest so you can wake up nice and cheerful.” He gives Sam a very condescending and infuriating kiss on the cheek before he settles in behind him.

“I wish they had given me Sharon instead.” Sam grumbles, then settles himself comfortably into James’ body and drifts off again.

 

James wakes him up a few hours later with a gentle shove. “Come on,” he says, already digging in the bag of weapons to prepare. “Time to go work.”

Sam gets himself up and dressed nicely enough to go to the bar. He notices James in the mirror, fake sleeve already over his metal arm, tying his hair up into a bun.

“What's the hair for?” He asks.

James finishes his hair and turns around to face Sam. His eyes are even more devastating with his hair away from them. He shrugs. “A different look. You'd be surprised how the littlest things will keep someone from remembering you, young grasshopper.” 

Then he struts out of the bathroom and corners Sam where he's standing next to the bed. Then he leans in so that his lips are just ghosting Sam’s ear and says, “ _Personne ne pouvait oublier votre visage.Trop de beauté_ ” and Sam doesn't speak a lick of French but damn it's doing more for him than a southern accent ever could.

Sam swallows thickly, “You're French now?”

“Amour, yes. Just for tonight.” He finishes the English part of his sentence in a perfect French accent. Sam’s mouth is dry. 

Barnes digs in his suitcase and pulls out a pack of chewing gum. He pops a piece into his mouth and gives his shoulders a little wiggle to adjust his posture. He's right, believe it or not, he seems completely different than the guy Sam has started to get to know. 

As hot as it is, the fact that James can just change like that makes Sam’s skin crawl. People can change. That's something Sam knows all too well.

 

Sam nurses a single beer while Barnes hangs out in view of the crew room door. After about an hour Barnes disappears for a few minutes before appearing again next to the booth Sam’s taken refuge in. His face is stern when he signals for Sam to follow him.

Barnes corners Sam against the pillar right in-between the bar and the crew door. He leans in close and grips Sam’s hip with his hand. He rocks their hips gently together in a swaying motion, almost like they're slow dancing lazily. He whispers in Sam’s ear, “They've got them in there. I overhead one of the goons named Anderson talking about their shipment. If we can grab Anderson’s badge, maybe I can-”

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam sees Lucas Jones approaching them, fast. Sam grabs James’ shoulders and whispers, “Lucas!” frantically to him. Sam has just enough time to see James’ eyes widen in fear before Sam pulls him forward by the shirt collar, backs himself up against the wall and smashes his mouth into James’. 

James puts both of his hands flat against the wall around Sam’s head, surrounding Sam’s face with his arms and bracing himself so that he doesn’t tumble into Sam. James makes a shocked noise in the back of his throat before he puts two and two together and kisses Sam back just as hard. Sam tilts his head so that his face his completely shielded by James’ giant bicep. It's not a bad kiss, and might even be a great one if Sam could put his mind into it and wasn't so damn concerned about Lucas noticing him and his cover being blown. James kisses just like he does everything else with Sam. He teases him, gives him little licks and nips to his bottom lip. The worst thing about it is Sam can't seem to figure out just how this guy is such a good damn kisser when they're in such danger. 

He hears one of Lucas’ goons say, “Get a room!” like a true punk just before the door to the crew room slams shut. 

Barnes gives Sam’s bottom lip one more gentle bite before he pulls away. His cheeks are flushed and he's breathless. Sam notices his eyes have gone dark. Sam doesn't blame him, that was one hell of a kiss.

“Really?” James asks breathlessly.

Sam shrugs and gets his wits about him for a second before he replies, “Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable.” 

Barnes lets out a sigh and gives him a shaky smile before threading his arm through Sam’s and commanding him, “Let's go.”

They get back to their stateroom quickly. Barnes immediately lets his hair down when he walks in the door. He flops down on the bed and motions for Sam to sit next to him. Sam kicks off his shoes but stays where he is and crosses his arms.

“Okay, so they've got something down there. We have to get access to the room. We’re going to need to lift a badge and get down there. If we see something that should be at least enough for SHIELD to come in and do a search without a warrant.” 

Sam nods. “It should. That would really be ideal here. Easy in and out for SHIELD and us. We dock in St. John tomorrow. When should we try and get a badge?”

“Oh well that's where you come in, friend.”

“Me?”

“Yes you,” James’ trademark smirk is back. “I saw the way you flirted with that girl the first night. Why don't we enjoy a nice day on the beach before you slip that ring off and take your chance with a crew member?”

Sam laughs and sits himself down on the bed next to James. “I like the way you think, buddy.”

“Good. Now...do you want to make out some more or should we just go right to the spooning?”

Sam doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit.

 

Sam’s pretty sure that trunk bay in St. John is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. 

The water is crystal-clear teal. Something that you think is edited into photographs and commercials until you actually see it in person. Sam picks up a handful of warmed white sand and let's it out slowly through his fingertips. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore is soothing. He looks out over the water. The rolling hills of the adjacent islands are visible in the distance. There are a lot less beach-goers than Sam expected. He's not sure where the other passengers on their ship ended up, but he's pretty sure they're missing out. He digs his toes further into the sand and turns to look at James.

James looks even more striking sitting here than normal. He's lost some of the tension he's carried around the entire time they've been on the boat. He's shirtless, just wearing a dark blue bathing suit. His hair’s down, covering the side of his face and the nape of his neck in loose curls from the humidity. He's got a pair of Ray-Bans over his eyes. He's sitting up with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands curled into each other between his legs. Sam notices that he has freckles littering the olive skin on his shoulders and upper back. He notices Sam looking at him. 

He cracks a smile, “You okay, love?”

It must be the pet name mixed with the warm sun on his skin, or maybe it's the southern accent mixed with just being on a beach with a white boy but Sam lets himself drift back. He lets himself pretend for a second. What would it be like if he and James were really here together? What would it be like to let someone in? 

His facial expression must change because James uses his sunglasses to push his hair back out of his face and tilts his head to the side. 

He looks so cute and curious that Sam starts laughing. “Yeah, I am.”

James’ expression softens and he scoots himself closer to Sam on the blanket. “This isn't so bad huh?” He asks Sam softly. 

Sam scoffs, “This part isn't.”

James smiles at him. He says, “Thank you, Sam.”

“For what?” 

James shrugs, then gives Sam a soft kiss on the cheek. His accent fades back into normal. He keeps his lips close to Sam’s cheek and whispers, “Everything,” but before Sam can respond he's up and sticking his feet in the warm ocean.

Sam’s cheek feels warm and tingly from James’ lips still as he watches James wade into the ocean.

 

Sam slips his fake wedding ring into his pocket as they're boarding back on to the ship later on in the day. He spots a woman leaning against one of the walls leading up the the ship from the causeway. She’s trying to casually check her cell phone in her pocket and hoping no one will notice. She’ll probably gladly take a distraction from her work and Sam can already see the employee badge hanging out of her pocket. 

“Her. Stay Close.” Sam whispers in James’ ear. James gives him a little nod and keeps walking with the crowd but stays pauses in view of Sam. 

Sam strides up to the woman. He matches her casual body posture and leans up against the wall a few feet away from her and slides a hand into his pocket. “They ever let you off this thing?” he asks with a smile. 

She giggles, which is very good, and replies “No. We have to do a lot of work when you guys are off the boat. Did you have fun today?” 

“Oh I did!” he tells her a story that he makes up on the fly about his ‘friend’ James almost getting swept away by the current at Trunk Bay. She laughs in all the right places. Sam inches his way closer to her during the whole story. “Hey!” he says excitedly, “Have you ever been to Trunk Bay?” he gently touches her hip in a flirty gesture as he asks the question. He looks over her shoulder briefly and meets James’ eyes. He gives Sam a dangerous smile in return. 

She starts giggling again and doubles over a little bit. Sam slides his hand down and loops his fingers into her crew badge lanyard. Behind her, Sam watches as James sticks his foot out to trip a rather fit man who basically faceplants onto the floor. Before she responds Sam gasps and points behind her. “Oh my god!” he all but yells. “I think I just saw someone fall down!” 

The woman gasps and turns, running over to the crowd of people now surrounding the fit man that James tripped. James is nowhere to be seen. As she moves away from Sam her crew badge slips out of her pocket. Sam snatches it up by the lanyard and shoves it into his own pocket before sticking close to the edge of the wall and pushing his way past the crowd to get back to his state room. He meets James who’s waiting for him in the level four hallway entrance. 

Sam shakes his head incredulously. “That’s cold man.” he says, referring to James’ earlier distraction method. 

James shrugs and replies in Mr. Buchanan’s southern drawl, “He could handle it.” Which makes Sam crack up.

As soon as Sam enters the stateroom he sees that the light is flicked on. He reaches backwards and pulls James into the room before trapping him against the door with his arm. He looks back at James and presses a finger to his lips to indicate for James to not speak. Sam and James had requested that a porter not come and clean their room until they had already departed. Sam knows that he had switched off all the lights in the room before they had left for St. John early that morning. He moves quietly to the lamp above the bedside. Inside he sees a tiny little microphone. They’ve been bugged. Lucas must have recognized Sam last night after all.

James is watching him intensely, posture upright and tense. Sam points to the lamp and then to his ear. James makes a disgusted face then says, “Darlin’ I’m beat, can we take a shower? You know I love it when we shower together.”

 

“Of course baby.” Sam says. The two men head into the bathroom and James flicks on the shower quickly. He then starts stripping off his clothes. 

Sam makes a face but starts taking off his own swim trunks and shirt as well. He steps into the water after James and wills himself to look nowhere but the other man’s eyes. The fact that someone on the ship is suspicious enough of them to bug their room is a pretty compelling reason not to get a boner, but on the other hand James’ body looks as if it was sculpted by gods. 

James leans in close to him, when Sam instinctively moves himself back James makes an annoyed face and pulls Sam in so close that their chests are touching. “Listen, we need to get a hold of Maria. Send her an SOS to meet us in the Bahamas tomorrow. These guys are more complex than we thought.”

Sam, who has somehow managed to not get a hard on nods and whispers, “I’ll send her a message. We can assist on the take-down when they get here. We’ve done enough messing around with these guys. I think we have enough proof. Time to call in the big guns.

Barnes pulls back and nods. Then his expression turns playful. His eyes scan Sam up and down before he whispers, “You sure you don’t want to stay in here and help me wash some of this sand off?”

Sam just rolls his eyes and grabs a towel to dry off with on his way to send a message to Maria Hill.

 

Sam’s awoken the next morning by a giant figure dressed in dark clothing looming over him.

He tenses, and feels Barnes tighten his grip around Sam’s waist instinctively. 

“Well don't you two look precious.” Steve Rogers says as he leans into Sam’s vision. 

“Uh…” Sam has no idea what's going on. 

“You two slept through the entire take-down. It wasn't exciting, don't worry. As soon as Maria, Nick and I entered the ship some shifty looking blonde guy showed us right to the crew room. They all went peacefully. Had a lot of tech but not a lot of knowledge.”

“You didn't call?” Barnes asks from behind Sam. He hasn't bothered to even move and is still trapping Sam with his body. He has his face all snuggled up in Sam’s neck.

“Well,” Steve walks over to the bedside table and hands Sam’s phone to him. Sam clicks the screen on and sees a multitude of missed calls from Steve and Maria. “You two were obviously too busy sleeping to answer.” 

He looks amused, but Sam apologizes anyway. Steve laughs heartily, “Don't worry, it happened so fast we didn't even have time to go wake you guys up. Good work, both of you. Now come on, there's a jet waiting to take us all home. I’m getting a sunburn just being on this island.”

 

Back in DC, and after only an hour (surprisingly) of teasing from Maria Hill, Steve pulls them aside to talk. “It’s a good thing you guys called us. I liked how you used proper protocol,” he eyes Sam, “this time.”

Barnes laughs beside him. “He usually doesn’t?”

“No! Sam reminds me of me in my younger days. He’s reckless. It seems having you there gave him some semblance of mind. I like you two working together, even if you do end up snuggling through all of your arrests.” Steve teases, “I’ll let you two get home. You’ll both be briefed you on Monday.” Steve smiles down at the both of them and departs after clapping Sam gently on the shoulder. 

Barnes and Sam nod their acceptance and head to the Shield locker rooms to gather their stuff. Sam’s slinging his bag over his shoulder when he feels a cold hand gripping his arm. When he turns around Barnes is behind him.

“Yes?” Sam asks curiously. 

“I just…” he pauses for a second, “wanted to say it’s been real nice working with you Wilson.” 

Sam nods, “You too, James.” 

As he’s turning to leave James stops him again. “Hey Wilson?”

“Yeah?”

“Call me Bucky.”


	2. At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam thought that working with James Barnes couldn't get possibly worse than when they had to pretend to be married on a cruise ship.
> 
> He was wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter! Just some brief warnings: there's some descriptions of violence in this chapter. If you'd like to know exactly what you can shoot me a comment and I can let you know!

Sam thought that working with James Barnes couldn't get possibly worse than when they had to pretend to be married on a cruise ship.

He was wrong.

“Handsome? Do you copy?” Barnes says over Sam’s comm.

“For the last time, my code name is _Falcon_.”

“Aww, come on Sammy.” Barnes chides, “I thought we agreed a few weeks ago that you were Handsome and I was going to be Sexy Face.”

“Barnes, I am not calling you “Sexy Face” over the comms. Or ever. I absolutely did not agree to those code names.” Sam starts laughing despite himself.

Barnes says, “You are no fun.” Then gives a big over-exaggerated sigh and says, “Handsome, you see anything over there?”

“Negative. No movement. If you're going to call me Handsome then I'm going to call you Bucknasty.”

Barnes scoffs, “That's horrid. At least handsome is a compliment. I'm going to call you Falcon big butt.”

“That's even worse! I don't have a _big butt_.”

“You do. I can see how big it is all the way from over here. Don't worry. I like it.”

“Please stop talking. If you don't I'll be forced to turn off the comms and hope you can see well enough through that scope to keep up with me.”

Barnes laughs, “Loud and clear, Big Butt.”

Sam watched the base from where he's perched on an adjacent cliff. Him and Barnes had been tasked with taking down a small group of domestic terrorists with a plan to hijack one of SHIELD’s weapons developer’s facilities. The terrorists have made their base in an abandoned factory in Arizona. Intel showed that they should be arriving to meet here soon. Barnes and Sam had been in their posts for about an hour now. Sam was using his wings this time. The plan was for Barnes to take them down as many as he could with a strong tranquilizer before they entered the building. Sam was his backup, of sorts. He was tasked with taking down the men who tried to flee or that Barnes couldn't take out himself. After all the terrorists were tranquilized, there were some lower-level SHIELD agents waiting nearby to take the guys in and arrest them. They may be counting on the element of surprise, but Barnes is a damn good sniper. Sam’s not worried. Though, he rarely ever is where a mission is concerned.

Sam and Bucky had been working together for almost a month now. After their initial mission on the cruise ship, things had been rather quiet for STRIKE team Beta. Bucky and Sam had gone on a short mission with Commander Rogers’ STRIKE team, and had assisted STRIKE team delta on a protection mission in New York. They've been getting along okay...if you can count Sam being relentlessly flirted with okay. As much as Sam pretends to be annoyed by it, the flirtatious banter between him and Bucky is nice. It's both innocent and fun. Sam hasn't been or wanted to be in a relationship since he and Riley broke it off, so it's actually really nice to be able to get flirty and dumb again with somebody. Especially when that somebody is a hunk of a man. Sam tries not to think about that part too much.

Sam’s snapped out his thoughts by a van’s headlights shining on his right. The terrorists are arriving.

“Winter.” Sam calls out to Bucky over the comms. He gets static in return as he sees another van start to pull in behind the first one. He knows Bucky can't see the van from where he's positioned.

“Winter!” He tries again. Then Sam sees the first van pull to a stop. Sam growls and then tries what he knows will get Bucky to answer him, “ _Sexy Face!_ ”

“Yes?” Barnes says, cocky as all get out.

“We have movement. Two vans. First one just pulled up.”

“Got it. Wait for my signal.”

Sam watches as the men start to file out of the vans. He counts them, eleven. Should be easy as pie.

“Three...two...one.” Sam watches as the first man falls, then the second, then the third, then all hell breaks loose. 

Sam extends his wings from his pack and dives. The wind rushes in his ears and he feels that wonderful flutter in his heart that he gets every time he flies. He has two shorter-range guns with the non-lethal bullets that Barnes is using inside them. When he gets within range he quickly takes out two men before he's even noticed.

“I make eight.” He tells Barnes. Then he sees one of them men pull out a gun and aim it at him. Sam banks a hard right and circles around the building.

“I make Seven, Six.” Barnes says, then, “Five.”

By the time Sam’s flown around the building the men are shooting in Barnes’ direction. He sees another one fall and hears Barnes call out, “Four.”

Sam gets another one in the back. “Three.”

One of the remaining men notices Sam out of the corner of his eye, he's just started to raise his gun when Barnes hits him and he falls. “Two.”

Then the worst thing happens, the two remaining men bolt- in opposite directions.

“Of course.” Sam grumbles, “I got the one on the right.”

“Roger.”

Sam tracks the guy as he runs into the tree line, then loses him in the thick of the leaves. He knows needs to get down on foot. Sam finds a small clearing in the woods and drops himself down onto his feet. Over the comms Barnes says, “I make one. Called in our clean up crew.”

After the comms go quiet again Sam takes a second to stay completely still and listen, trying to hear the man rustling through the trees. 

Sam knows the guy doesn't have night vision goggles, so he's probably blindly feeling his way around, trying to make it to a clearing so he can book. He hears a soft rustling sound to his right. Sam draws his gun again, keeping it at the ready. He creeps around two trees that have grown close together, searching for the source of the noise.

Over the comms, Barnes asks “Falcon? Do you have a visual?”

Sam knows he should answer but he's too busy trying to listen. He reaches up and flicks his comm to silent just as Barnes started to talk again.

Sam continues to still himself, leaving against the side of a tree for what he hopes is a little cover. He stays there for a few minutes before he creeps a few paces to his right. He takes cover behind a different tree and waits some more.

He hears the rustling noise again, louder this time and almost directly behind him. Sam has just enough time to turn around before he feels a searing pain in his middle. He instinctively sinks to his knees and presses a hand over his stomach. It takes him a few seconds to realize that he's been shot. He tries to get his bearings about him to look for the guy again. He's probably running. Sam can't hear him anymore. The pain is white-hot and overwhelming. Sam can feel blood seeping through his hands and the last thing he thinks is, _I should have gone for the guy on the left_ before the world goes dark.

Sam comes to and the first thing he sees is Bucky’s face.

He opens his mouth to speak. It takes him a few tries. His voice feels old and rusty. His head feels fuzzy and clouded.

“Why d’they call you _Bucky_?”

Barnes barks out a laugh. “You almost get yourself killed, wake up in the hospital and the first thing you ask about is my name?”

Sam considers it, “Yeah. It's a dumb name. S’like a dog or something.” Then he starts laughing, which stings a little. “Ow.”

Bucky stands up and moves to the edge of his bed. He leans in a little closer and says, “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Sam starts to say _I fainted on the ground and I don't even want your attention_ but then he gets a better idea. He says, “Buck buck. Get it? Like bark bark? But your name.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “Pain killers are something else, aren't they?” 

“Mhm.” Sam agrees. “But seriously. Why are you Bucky?”

Barnes sits himself down on the edge of Sam’s bed. “It's from my middle name. Buchanan. Childhood nickname.” He shrugs. “It just stuck.”

Sam screws his face up in concentration before he remembers and says, “That's my last name. When we were married.”

Bucky starts laughing. “It was. When did we get a divorce?” 

Sam knows he's just messing with him but plays along anyway. “When I got off the boat. You didn't satisfy me as a lover.”

Barnes grabs his chest, “Ouch. I'm wounded! Get yourself up to full strength and maybe I can have another try.”

Sam giggles, “Nope. I've moved on.” Then he starts to feel really sleepy, a fresh dose of pain medication kicking in. “I'm tired.” He tells Bucky.

Bucky's face gets all soft and caring. He runs a hand over Sam’s hair gently then says, “Get some sleep.”

Sam smiles at the gesture, “You're so _pretty._ ” He tells Bucky because he can't stand the thought of not telling him.

Bucky laughs, “Yeah? Tell me more about it when you wake up, sweetheart.”

 

Sam comes to again and the first thing he sees is Bucky’s face, except for this time, Bucky's asleep. He still looks pretty, but he is drooling a little.

“Bucky,” Sam croaks. “Why are you still here?”

Bucky’s eyes snap open instantly. He blinks them a few times and gets a hold of his surroundings, then he looks over to Sam. 

“I can't trust you to look out for yourself apparently. You'd probably find a way to get killed in here without telling me you're in danger.” He smiles to make it into a joke but it doesn't reach his eyes.

“Bucky-” Sam starts but he's interrupted when the doctor walks in.

The doctor tells Sam that they removed the bullet with no problem. Sam got lucky (when the doctor says this Barnes shoots him a look) and the bullet missed all his major organs. He can be released from the hospital tomorrow and back to work on missions in roughly six to eight weeks. He won't be cleared to go back to the office at all until after his month post-surgery check. Sam groans at this (receiving another look from Barnes) but thanks the doctor profusely regardless.

They're quiet for a minute before Sam says, “So why are you still here?” 

“I already told you.” Barnes deflects, crossing his arms across his chest in the chair next to Sam’s bed.

Sam squints at him. “Is there something you're not telling me? Did I get in trouble with Fury?”

Bucky chuckles, “No. Rogers might chew your ass out for a few minutes though.”

“Did we get all the targets arrested-”

“Yes.”

“Do you like not have a home or something?”

Bucky’s chuckle turns into a laugh. “Yes Wilson, I have a home.”

“So…” 

Bucky sighs. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay. That's all.” He can't meet Sam’s eyes when he's saying it and shuffles his feet in the floor. 

“Oh.” Is all Sam says because, well, that's actually pretty sweet. “Well I'm okay.”

Bucky doesn't look up yet. “Do you want me to go?” 

Sam gets the feeling that this runs deeper than what Bucky’s letting on so he says, “Nah. Your ugly mug is actually okay to look at.”

Bucky does look up at him then. He smirks, “You called me pretty earlier.”

Sam groans, “You can't hold a man accountable for what he says when he's whacked.” 

“I can and I will.”

Sam tries to frown, but smiles instead, “Want to watch a movie with me?”

 

Two days after he gets out of the hospital, when Sam’s still mostly loaded up on pain medication, there’s a knock at his door. He’s sleepy from the drugs but manages to drag himself off of the couch and answer it. 

It’s Barnes.

“Hey?” Sam says, his inflection lifting at the end of the word because he has no idea why Barnes is at his front door.

Barnes is still dressed in his Shield polo and nice slacks. He must have had an office day. He’s holding a bag of takeout. The sight of that alone makes Sam get excited. He hasn’t been feeling well enough to cook himself anything today. The food smells good. Bucky gives Sam a small smile and says, “Hey Sam.”

Barnes walks himself into Sam’s apartment. He picks up a picture frame with the hand that’s not holding the bag of takeout that’s on the table next to Sam’s front door. It’s a picture of him with his nephew and sister.

“Aww, that’s cute.” Bucky remarks. “This your sister?”

“Yes.” Sam says, drawing the word out slowly. He’s still confused as to why Barnes is here. He furrows his eyebrows. “Did bring me food?”

“Yes and no.” Barnes says tilting his head back and forth. “I brought you and I both food.” 

“Are we eating together?” Sam asks. He’s feeling woozier every second he’s on his feet. 

“Are you opposed to that? Too busy?” Barnes teases, replacing the picture a few inches to the left of where it was on the table carelessly. He walks himself into Sam’s dining room and sets the food down on to the table. Sam would protest under any other circumstances, but he’s hurting and really wants to sit down. 

He says, “Obviously not.”  
Barnes says, “Good. I can eat a lot but not this much.”

Sam tells him where the plates are from where he’s sitting on the couch. Barnes brings him over a plate of Chinese food. There's beef with broccoli and some fried rice. It looks even better than it smells. Barnes sits himself down on the other end of the couch. He shovels a giant bite of food into his mouth before talking with his mouth full and saying, “What are you watching?”

Sam looks over to the TV. He had forgotten he had the TV on at all. “Some HGTV show apparently.” 

Barnes looks over to him and grins. He takes the remote from the coffee table and starts changing the channel. He puts on some documentary about mountain lions. Sam watches it for a few minutes as he eats. He starts to feel queasy after a while so he sets his food down on the coffee table and sits back on the couch. He closes his eyes and tries to wriggle around a little to get comfy. The wiggling manages to just increase his pain and he winces. 

“You okay?” Bucky asks, soft and concerned. 

“It hurts.” Sam says, since it’s the only thing that comes to his mind right now.

He hears Bucky getting up and shuffling around his place. He can’t seem to find the energy to care. He feels Bucky gently nudge his arm and Sam opens his eyes. 

Barnes is down on his knees on the floor next to him. He holds out one of Sam’s painkillers and a glass of water. “Take this.” 

Sam sits up enough to do so then lays himself back down. Bucky takes his seat on the couch again. Sam tries to get comfortable so that he can just relax for a while, but he can’t. He makes a frustrated noise. Barnes sighs and Sam can’t see him since his eyes are closed again but he can bet Barnes is rolling his eyes at him.

“Just-” Barnes starts then just gently picks up Sam’s feet and calves and places them on his thighs. “Here.” he says.

“O-okay.” Sam replies. His head is starting to feel even fuzzier from the fresh dose of pain medication. He is really more comfortable all stretched out. He keeps his eyes closed and listens to the TV for a while as he feels his pain subsiding.

He can hear Barnes finishing his food and putting his plate down again. Barnes then places both of his hands on one of Sam’s calves. He rubs up and down it gently, almost absentmindedly as he watches the documentary. It feels really good and soothing on Sam’s tense body. One of the animals on the show must do something funny because he lets out a little chuckle. The last thought Sam has before he falls asleep is how damn nice it is to have someone here with him, even if it is James Barnes. 

Barnes seems to make it a habit to stop by Sam’s apartment every few days after work after that initial visit. Sam’s not as enthused as he was the first time. See, Barnes doesn't just come over, he manages to insert himself into every little nook and cranny of Sam’s entire being. He’ll touch everything on Sam’s shelves. He will look through Sam’s fridge. He will change the channel and then put the remote back in the wrong place. He fiddles with the life that Sam’s made himself here in DC. He drinks Sam’s iced coffee that he makes himself at night so it's perfect by the morning. He puts his shoes on Sam’s couch when he tucks his feet under himself to watch a movie. He always misses spots when he does the dishes and he manages to put them back in the wrong places too. 

But on the other hand, Sam’s used to being alone since he and Riley split. He's used to an empty apartment and entertaining himself. He's using to being able to throw himself into his work and take off without a moment’s notice. He's used to being independent. 

The whole independence thing really takes a hit when you've been shot.

Having Barnes around is just nice. He does nice things for Sam. They even manage to have fun through the aggravation. Bucky’s quickly becoming a bright spot in Sam’s life. 

Sam does appreciates the help and the company, but after two weeks of a visit from Barnes every few days he still doesn't understand why. He doesn't think Barnes enjoys annoying him that much.

“Why are you here?” He asks when Barnes brings him a meatball sub one night. It's good.

Barnes says, “To feed you.” Like it's supposed to be obvious.

“Okay but why are you feeding me? I can feed myself.”

“I don't have cable.” Bucky says. Sam knows he's full of shit.

“You seriously can't like doing my dishes enough to come over every three days. Plus, I did them myself the other day.”

“Yeah? And what would you have done if I haven't been coming over to do them in the meantime?”

Sam shrugs and takes another bite of his sandwich. He says, “Figure it out.”

“That's exactly the problem.” Barnes says, looking at him. “Sometimes you need to ask for help. Like when you're in the middle of the woods and can't see the guy who has a gun trained on you.”

Sam groans, “If you keep talking about that I'm going to kick you out. I've already heard enough from Steve.”

Bucky smiles at him. “You'd never kick me out. I carried you to bed that night I came over right after you got home from the hospital.”

Sam’s cheeks heat up. He had woken up the next morning tucked in his bed with his pills on the bedside table along with a glass of water. It was really nice. “I totally would still kick you out. That means nothing. I would have been fine on the couch.”

“You would have woken up hurting worse than ever.” Barnes says, giving Sam a scolding look. “I’m great and you love me. Admit it.”

“I do not!” Sam laughs. “I just keep you around for the food and the sub-par company.”

Barnes smiles and gives a little huff. “I'm at least average company.” Then he's silent for a moment. He's quieter when he speaks again. “I know what it's like to hurt. Figured I could help. You're a good guy. You deserve that much.”

Sam frowns. He reaches out with his hand and touches Barnes on his metal shoulder. Barnes turns to look at him, his eyes big and honest. Sam swallows thickly. He says, “Thanks.” because he really means it. 

 

Barnes is gone for a week and a half before he shows up again. Sam knows it's him from the sound of metal rapping on the front door. He answers it. Barnes looks- not good.

He's got a black eye and a pretty nasty looking cut on the left side of his face. He's still in his SHIELD tac gear. His shirt is full of tears. He's staring at his shoes.

“What happened to you, Big Guy?” Sam asks.

Barnes looks up at Sam like he just noticed that the door had been opened. His eyes look hollow, empty. It makes Sam’s stomach churn.

Sam wordlessly steps aside to let Barnes into his apartment. Barnes takes a few steps in, then stops abruptly, not flopping himself down on Sam’s couch or immediately touching all of Sam’s stuff like he normally does. He's just standing there, silent and sniper-still in the entrance to Sam’s apartment. Sam eyes him carefully and takes a cautious step towards him. 

“Are you okay?” Sam asks quietly. 

Barnes doesn't answer. He doesn't do anything.

“What happened, Buck?”

Bucky’s silent for another minute and Sam waits patiently by his side. Then he takes a deep shuddering breath and lets it out slowly, his shoulders sagging as he does so. 

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before any words come out. When they do he says, “Kids. They had kids. We couldn't save them all.”

Sam’s heart just breaks. He's been fortunate enough to only be assigned a few missions that involve children but they were always the worst ones. They were always the ones that made you push yourself to limits that you didn't know you could reach. They were always the ones that took the longest to come back from, the ones that sometimes during your sleep, you never really left.

Sam doesn't know what the hell to say so he just reaches out for Barnes with his hand, meaning to give him a calming touch on the shoulder or maybe a pat on the back but Barnes sees his incoming touch and just dives in. Before Sam even knows what's happening Barnes has him wrapped up in his arms. He tucks his head into the junction of Sam’s shoulder and neck. Sam sways a little at the sudden force of Bucky’s giant body coliding into his but steadies himself right away and wraps his arms around Bucky just as tightly, cupping Bucky’s head with one of his hands. 

Bucky takes another shaky breath and mumbles, “It was hydra. Experimentation.”

“Oh Jesus.” Sam says.

“I hate them.” Barnes says, even quieter.

“I know.” Sam tells him, smoothing Bucky’s hair down with his fingers. “I know.” Because even though he was suspicious at first of Barnes’ ties to hydra he isn't anymore. How could he be after seeing Barnes like this?

Bucky stays like that, in Sam’s arms, until he pulls back suddenly as if he's been burned. 

He claps Sam on the back and smiles like he hasn't spent this entire time looking like he was in shock. “What do you have to eat?” He asks.

Sam blinks at him. He knows Bucky’s deflecting and swallowing down whatever nightmares he's seen today but Sam won't push him. He gathers back his surprise at Bucky’s sudden change and goes to his fridge. He pulls out some lunch meat and cheese for Bucky. Then he pulls down the bread from the top of the fridge. “Want a sandwich?” He asks, just as he sees Barnes sitting down on his couch. 

“Oh Sweetheart, you treat me so well. Nothing like coming home from work and getting made a sandwich.” Barnes says, grinning.

Sam rolls his eyes. Normal, irritating Barnes is back in the building. Sam knows it's a front, that Barnes is probably screaming inside his head right now. But Sam also doesn't really want to analyze how Barnes showing Sam that volatile, shaken up side of himself makes him feel so he heads into the living room and sits himself down right next to Barnes on the couch. “I'm sure it's the best thing in the world.” He tells Bucky, giving him shit just like he would any other day. “But I'm not your sweetheart. Make your own damn sandwich.”

Barnes lets out an annoyed groan but he's still grinning. He starts to move to get up. Before he stands he claps a hand firmly down on to Sam’s thigh and looks Sam right in the eye. He holds Sam’s gaze and bites at the corner of his bottom lip before he says, “Thank you.” Sam knows that Bucky's thanking him for more than just the sandwich.

Sam hopes his face doesn't show the surprise he feels. He gives Barnes a small smile and says, “Anytime man.”

Barnes does make himself a sandwich. He sits and eats it on Sam’s couch while they watch “King of Queens”. Barnes usually cackles awfully at this show, but tonight he's silent and staring straight through the TV as if it weren't there at all. Sam watches him. He knows how Bucky's feeling right now. He knows it feels like shit. Sam gets an idea. 

“Well first off, do you wanna borrow some clothes?”

It takes Barnes a second to realize Sam’s spoken to him. When he does he turns to Sam and asks, “What?”

“I said, do you want to borrow some clothes?”

“Are we going somewhere?” Bucky asks 

“Nope.” Sam gets up and heads to the fridge. He pulls out two beers. “But we are getting drunk. Might wanna get comfy.”

Barnes looks pleased. He takes the bottle of beer and cracks it open before taking a long pull from it. “Sure.” He says giving Sam a little smile. 

Sam lends Barnes a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that ends up being ridiculously tight on his massive shoulders. Bucky looks really pleased about it. Sam tells him he can keep it. 

They sit themselves back on the couch. Sam turns on an animal documentary since that’s what Bucky usually puts on when he comes over and steals Sam’s TV remote. Sam himself doesn't care for them all too much but all he hears in his head is Bucky telling him, “I know what it’s like to hurt. Figured I could help.” If Bucky can spend the past few weeks doing that for Sam then Sam sees no reason why he can’t return the favor. Barnes finishes his beer when Sam’s only halfway through his. He goes to the fridge and pulls out another one then sits back down on the couch. He’s still staring at the TV like he sees right through it. Sam watches as Bucky drinks the entirety of his second beer in about two pulls. Sam feels his eyebrows draw together in concern. Bucky stands up to get a third beer when Sam finally works himself up enough to say something.

“You might wanna slow down there, Tiger.”

Bucky turns around to Sam and says, “Okay. You got any hard stuff?” 

Sam cocks his head, “How...is that slowing down?” Sam wonders if maybe this whole time Barnes has had some kind of alcohol problem. He hasn’t seen any signs of one. He tries to do his best to remember how much Barnes drank that night they got drunk together on the cruise. In fact, he can’t seem to remember if Barnes was drunk at all. He had woken up and acted completely fine where as Sam spent almost the entire day moaning and groaning about being hungover. 

Barnes holds his hands out in question. Sam directs him to the cabinet where he keeps a few bottles of liquor for cooking and the rare occasion he has guests or a shitty day. Bucky pulls out a bottle of whiskey that Steve had left here. 

_Steve._

Sam’s mind turns to Hydra. Sam’s mind turns to earlier when Barnes had said, “experimentation.” Sam’s mind turns to Steve.

Almost a year ago Steve had shown up at Sam’s front door with a blank expression. For someone who works at such a secretive government agency, Steve’s face is almost always readable. That’s what made Sam the most nervous, the blank, almost scary expression on his friend’s face. The second thing that made Sam nervous was when Steve sat himself down in one of Sam’s dining room chairs, pulled a bottle of whiskey out of the paper bag he was carrying and then downed the entire thing in maybe three or four gulps before Sam could even get a word out of him. Steve had looked extremely green around the gills for a few minutes before he managed to somehow breathe his way through his nausea. He uncapped the second bottle of whiskey in the bag and took another giant gulp. Sam managed to move through his shock and walked over to Steve, gently plucking the bottle out of his hands and placing it on the table.

Steve had looked up at Sam with cold, hard eyes and said, “That should get me like an hour of a buzz, maybe. Do you know much I hate this serum sometimes?”

Sam shook his head. Steve’s words were cutting through him like venom. 

“I hate it.” he spat. “I’m almost a hundred years old. I look like I’m forty, at most. I can’t get drunk. And you know what else?” He took a big shuddering breath, “I outlive my wife.” He choked on his last words and started to sob. 

Sam understood now. Peggy had died. Sam wrapped Steve up in his arms and held him close as he cried against Sam’s chest.

“She’s gone and I’m still here. She’s gone and I can’t even really get fucking drunk.” 

Sam watches as Bucky uncaps the bottle and drinks about half of it in a few gulps. He makes a disgusted face and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. 

Sam opens his mouth to speak, to ask him, but then closes it promptly. What would he even say? _Hey did hydra experiment on you? Is that why you’re drinking like this?_

Sam stands up from his place on the couch and pads into the kitchen to stand next to Barnes. He feels a pang of sympathy for Bucky then. He finally thinks he understands the haunted look behind Barnes’ beautiful icy blue eyes. He finally thinks he understands some of why Barnes turned himself over to SHIELD. 

Barnes interrupts his thoughts by handing him the bottle of whisky. “Drink some.” he says. “I don’t want to be drunk alone.” and Sam thinks he’s really saying, _I don’t want to be alone at all_ so he takes a big swig of the whiskey. It burns all the way down and almost makes him cough. Barnes gives him an encouraging grin. He takes the bottle out of Sam’s hands, looks Sam right in the eye and wraps his pink lips around the top of the bottle and takes another swig. Sam watches Bucky’s throat work as he swallows. Bucky’s gaze is still hot when he holds the bottle out to Sam and asks, “Want more?”

Somehow (and after a few more shots), Sam finds himself in his bed sitting up against the wall. Barnes’ head is in his lap and Sam’s stroking his hair. Barnes’ face is relaxed and his eyes are closed so Sam keeps doing it. He looks especially pretty when he’s at peace.

“I really just want to call you Bucknasty.” Sam says, kinda whining, kinda slurring. 

Barnes smiles without showing his teeth. “I really just wanna call you Falcon Big Butt.”

Sam wrinkles his nose. “I don’t have a big butt.”

“You do. But I told you before. I like it. It’s a nice butt.”

“Aww, thanks!” Sam replies genuinely. He gives Bucky’s head a little pat like he’s a damn cat or something. 

Barnes’ smile grows, the bottoms of his teeth now visible from in-between his lips. “I’m really glad I'm here, Wilson.” 

“I’m glad I’m you're here too, Bucknasty.”

Sam wakes up the next morning and he’s alone. He’s not sure when he fell asleep, but the last thing he remembers is Barnes and him lying under the covers and giggling about all the different words that rhyme with “Bucky” (fucky, ducky, mucky, lucky). Sam _would_ laugh again at their stupidity, but his head fucking hurts. He manages to get his eyes open and looks to his bedside table. There’s a glass of water and some Tylenol on it along with a note. 

_Thank you.  
-BB_

 

Sam gets the all clear to go back to work on office duty after his one month post op check up with the doctor. He's feeling a lot better. His wound’s almost completely healed. He's truly happy to get back into the office. No matter how many times Barnes comes over to keep him company, he really was damn bored.

His first day back on the job is filled with a lot of well-wishes from his coworkers. Steve brought him a donut from his favorite bakery. Fury simply muttered, “Don't get yourself shot next time.” Then clapped him on the back and walked away.

Barnes makes it over to his desk around noon. He's in full tac gear, meaning he's probably going to be whisked away on a jet soon. Sam’s only a little jealous. 

“Hey Big Butt.” He says in greeting, leaning over Sam’s desk with a mischievous shine in his eye.

Sam matches his state and replies, “Bucknasty.”

Bucky lets out a little chuckle. “I'm glad we have you back.” 

Sam smiles up at him, “Glad to be back, partner.”

Barnes giggles, “Partner? Are we Cowboys now? You gonna show me how you ride later?”

Sam scoffs and rolls his eyes, but his cheeks heat up despite himself. “And this is when I ban you from my apartment for the rest of my life.”

“Come on!” Barnes goads. “You love me.”

Sam turns his eyes back to the work he's doing on the computer. He says, “I do not.”

“You do.” Barnes says in a sing song tone. “But now that I can see your pretty face here I guess I won't need to come over any more.”

Sam stops what he's doing abruptly. He knows that Barnes isn't just teasing him. He's asking if Sam still wants to hang out. He takes a second to consider his answer before he says, “You could never get enough of my pretty face.”

Barnes smiles happily. It was a good answer, then. Sam knows that he doesn't want Barnes to stop coming over. He's enjoyed his company this past month, even if sometimes it drives him a little insane.

“You're right,” Barnes says, “I can't.”

 

Barnes does end up going on a mission that night with Steve and the rest of Steve’s STRIKE crew. He’s expected to be gone a few days. 

Sam sits at his apartment after work on the Friday after Bucky leaves for his mission. It’s quiet.

He sighs. He should be used to this. Riley and him have been split up for over two years now. Sam’s been living alone since then. He should be used to the silence. He should be used to the lack of laughter and teasing. He should, but he isn’t apparently. Barnes must have spoiled him. Sam can’t believe he’s missing Barnes’ presence as much as he is. 

Once he realizes what’s bothering him he can’t help but give into it. He misses Bucky around him like a dull ache in his chest. He turns on the TV and automatically switches to the channel with the animal documentaries. Tonight’s show is about penguins. It’s Bucky’s favorite episode. Every time the penguins fall down he starts giggling like a little kid. Sam finds himself smiling at the memory as he watches the little black and white animals waddle around on his television screen. When he starts to get into the show he goes to put down the remote. Without even realizing it, he doesn’t put the remote back in the neat little remote holder attached to the side of his couch like he normally would, he puts it down in the middle of the couch just like Bucky would- no matter how many times Sam would bitch at him about it because the remote got stuck inside the couch. 

The next day Sam’s still feeling a little restless, so he calls his sister. She lives about an hour away in Maryland now. She’s free, so he drives up to her house to spend the day with her and his nephew. It’s a wonderful time and spending hours with his family helps loosen that knot inside his chest. He’s grateful for it. His sister feeds him dinner and his nephew kisses him goodnight before he drives himself back down to DC. Sam feels a lot more peaceful than he did on the drive up. The sun’s just setting when he pulls up to his apartment building. 

Sam heads up the stairs and inside his apartment. He knows someone else is inside the second he shuts his front door. The air just feels different, like someone opened a window and didn't shut it all the way. He takes his gun out of the holster and flicks off the safety. 

Sam steadies himself with a long breath before he continues. He checks his living room first and finds it clear quickly. His kitchen is too small to have any place to hide so he heads down his hallway next. He sticks close to the wall, keeps his breathing slow and quiet and his gun drawn and ready.

His bedroom door is cracked open, which is not normal. Sam feels his plus spike. When he's a few feet from the bedroom door he stops and listens. He doesn't hear anything, which makes his pulse spike even more. He inches up until he's right outside of the bedroom door then takes another steadying breath. Then he quickly whips himself inside the room, gun prepared to shoot and-

Sam sighs, puts the safety back on his gun and holsters it again.

“Barnes, why are you in my bed?” Sam notices the clothes strewn about his bedroom before Barnes can answer. “Scratch that. Why are you naked in my bed?”

Barnes lets out a groan. “Well you see. I have a very good reason.” He's lying on his stomach with his face almost buried into one of Sam’s pillows. 

“Uh-huh. And what's that?” Sam puts a hand on his hips. He half expects his partner to answer with some kind of pick-up line. 

“Because I knew that when you saw me you wouldn't be able to resist.”

“Seriously, Bucky? Get the fuck-”

“I got shot in the ass.”

“-out of my- you got shot in the ass? Why the hell aren't you at SHIELD getting fixed up right now.”

Bucky tries to move, but gives up with another pained groan. “Is it better if I lie and tell you that they sent me to you to patch me up or if I just tell you the truth that I managed to get myself shot on non-official business and don't feel like paying the co-pay for a hospital visit?”

Sam barks out a bitter laugh, “Are you kidding me right now? Weren’t you on a mission with Steve?” 

“I was. I got home yesterday. Got into some trouble a few hours ago.”

“Well obviously!” Sam leaves Barnes there for a minute and goes to his bathroom to grab his extensive first aid kit. He’s highly trained in field medicine and believe it or not, the ass is one of the best places to get shot. He goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of vodka and the leftovers of the whiskey from a few weeks ago then brings all his supplies back to the bedroom and sets them on his bed. 

“Drink this.” Sam says, handing Bucky the vodka. “It’s gonna hurt since I don’t exactly carry around local anesthetic.” 

Barnes pouts his lips and whimpers a little but leans up enough to chug about half the bottle of vodka. He gags a little. “This is the worst vodka I’ve ever tasted. What was it, five dollars?”

“Natasha Romanoff gave it to me.” Sam replies, snapping on a pair of vinyl gloves and pouring a generous amount of alcohol on a pair of tweezers. 

“Figures. She has no taste.”

Sam hums and pulls back the sheet enough so that he can see Barnes’ ass. He really did get shot in the meat of it, but there’s something odd about what Sam’s seeing. 

The bullet isn’t lodged in as it should be, it’s been pushed about halfway out, like the skin around it is trying to close itself up. The wound around it looks as if it’s a day or two old already. 

“Huh.” Sam says before he can stop himself.

Barnes sighs. He has to know what Sam is seeing, what he’s thinking. “What? My ass managed to render you speechless?” He deadpans, waiting for Sam to say something.

“That’s it. You got me.” Sam replies, just as dryly. He’s not going to bring it up until he’s at least had the chance to give the guy some stitches. 

Sam tugs gently on the bullet with the tweezers and it practically falls out. All Barnes does is stiffen a little. “I’m gonna give you a few stitches.” Sam warns. “You wanna take another swig of that vodka for me?”

“Why the hell not.” Barnes grits and does. Then he bites down on Sam’s pillow. 

“Gross.” Sam says. He carefully stitched up Barnes’ wound. It only takes a few minutes. The entire time, Barnes is tense but silent except for a few rough exhales out of his nose. It makes Sam’s stomach churn. He’s too calm, too practiced. This pain is nothing for him. Sam’s stomach twists up.

“You’re all patched up, but you should really get some antibiotics. That bullet was in for a while.” Sam tells him after he’s bandaged up the area. 

Bucky grunts and pulls the blanket back up around his bare ass. “I’ll heal,” he assures Sam, letting his accent go a little more Russian than it normally does. It’s a clue, a hint for Sam to try and understand. Bucky telling him “Hydra” without saying the words. Sam’s immediately curious but doesn’t press it. Sam’s pretty sure he knows. He’s going to have to ask, just not this very moment. 

“You can stay here tonight,” he says instead.

“Good,” Barnes laughs a little. “I don’t think I could walk home. Want me to sleep on the couch?”

“Nah. We’ve slept together enough.” 

Sam sees Bucky’s mouth open. “Don’t say it.” he says, smiling, effectively stopping whatever dumb line Bucky was trying to pull on him.

Barnes laughs, full on. He rolls over on his side facing Sam. “I wasn’t going to say anything,” he lies.

“Sure,” Sam says, gathering up all the medical supplies and the dirty top sheet on his bed. There’s a little dried blood on it. Sam’s pretty practiced at getting it out by now so he just chucks it in the hamper.

He puts everything away and comes back to the bedroom with a fresh blanket. Bucky's lying on his side and naked still. Sam doesn't think he could handle putting on clothes right now so he just flops the blanket down on top of him then changes into his pj's and climbs in next to Bucky. They're silent for a while then Barnes makes a lot of pained grunting noises and manages to turn himself around so that he's facing Sam. Sam looks into his eyes. They look a little less haunted than they did when they first met each other. They look sparkling. Barnes’ pupils are a little dilated. Barnes looks like he likes what he sees. 

Sam doesn't say anything, just tucks a stray strand of hair behind Barnes’ ear for him.

Barnes licks his lips and says, so quietly, “Can I kiss you?”

Sam opens his mouth to answer yes because even though he's been thinking about it all along he didn't quite realize it until now that it was a viable option for him to want. He can hardly think of something that he wants more, in fact. But then somehow, his brain catches up to his heart before he can answer. He doesn't know Barnes. Not one bit. He can't get hurt again, he _can't_.

“No.” Sam says weakly.

Hurt flashes behind Barnes’ eyes. “Why?”

Sam takes a second to compose himself then he says, “I don't know you. I like you. I like spending time with you. I want to kiss you, but I can't. I can't.”

Barnes gives a little nod and furrows his brow. “You get hurt before?” 

“Yeah, bad.” Sam answers, small. “I think he was the love of my life. I couldn't give him what he wanted, so he left.”

“What did he want?”

“Me to leave SHIELD. To go live on a farm or something I don't even know. To go have a bunch of kids.” Sam laughs bitterly, “But I've seen too much, Buck. I've done too much with these hands.” He holds the hand that's not trapped under his body up to show Bucky as if he could see the horrors on them, the men Sam’s killed, the innocent lives he's taken by accident. “He was too damn pure for somebody like me. I like my job. I like the danger. I make a difference. That's what matters to me.”

Barnes looks at him long and hard then grabs Sam’s hand that's hanging in the air with his metal one. He places it back gently on the bed and wraps their fingers together. He winces his way through shuffling himself closer to Sam. They're lying side by side now, with their knees touching, their faces inches apart. Bucky brings Sam’s hand close to his chest and kisses his fingers. He's so gentle Sam wants to cry. 

Instead he says, “You ever gonna tell me how you got shot?”

Barnes snorts. “Where I live, it's a big building. Owned by a friend of mine. Not a rich neighborhood, not a good one, but I like it, I like the people, I like my place. Today some dumb mooks from God knows where came. Started knocking on doors. I heard it inside my place so I came out into the hallway, unarmed of course.” Then he grins, “well not unarmed literally-”

“I got it,” Sam laughs.

“So the guy had my neighbor Cecelia by the hair. She's a young thing. Lives there with her mom and dad, she's 16. Her parents were screaming and crying. Saying something in Sokovian about how they'd find a way and begging. So I tried to get her back. A bunch of them ganged up on me and one pulled a gun on me. Thankfully he's a terrible shot.” 

“Do you know what they wanted?” Sam asks.

“No. Didn't ask. Scared the guys away enough and told my neighbors to head as far away as possible. They're heading to Philadelphia to stay with family.”

“Think they'll be back?”

“Oh yeah.” Barnes says confidently. He looks unbelievably beautiful in the dim night light. Sam’s heart is pounding just looking at him.

“Next time, call me. I'm curious now. Plus you need someone to watch your ass.”

Barnes scoffs at his joke then says, “You would be curious. You're so reckless.”

“You're the reckless-”

“M’not!”

“One! Yes you are! I'm just trying to compensate! How can I compete with super soldiers like Rogers and you-”

Sam snaps his mouth shut. The words left his mouth before he could stop them.

Barnes looks...amused but sad. His eyes look pained. Sam hates it. Hates that he caused that look. “I knew you'd figure it out.” He says, he's grinning but it doesn't reach his eyes. “You're too smart not to.”

Sam squeezes his metal hand and hopes Barnes can feel it. “Was it hydra?”

“It was.” And he looks like Sam has gone and cracked him open. Sam can see all the hurt in his eyes come flooding back and Sam’s heart just aches so he does what he knows he shouldn't do and leans forward and presses their lips together. It's a soft kiss and neither of them try to deepen it. Just lips touching, saying I'm here. I care about you. Everything the both of them really need right now. 

Barnes breaks their lips apart with a little smack. Sam opens his mouth to either speak or apologize, he isn't quite sure, but Barnes silences him with a shake of his head.

He says, “Before we do that again, I need to tell you about how I met Captain America.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> A thank you to my awesome beta, [ Leah ](Susieandhobbes.tumblr.com). Give her a follow on tumblr! You can follow me there [ here ](Unclesteeb.tumblr.com). I tend to post little snippets sometimes!


	3. In Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When…” Sam starts slowly, “You mean when you met Steve?”
> 
> “No,” Bucky corrects. Their faces are just inches apart on Sam’s pillow. “When I met captain America.” Then he sighs. “How much do you know about Steve’s retirement?”
> 
> “Steve retired because his wife was getting older. That's common knowledge,” Sam says.
> 
> “Yeah, common.” He meets Sam’s eyes again. “But you and I both know that under every truth is a dirty secret. I'm Steve's.”
> 
> Sam shakes his head and squeezes Bucky’s metal hand lightly. “I'm not, I'm not getting what you're saying Buck.” He says apologetically. 
> 
> Bucky closes his eyes and exhales roughly through his nose. He opens them and looks right at Sam. “I was born in 1965.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some moderate descriptions of violence and torture, just so you know. There will be a more in-depth explanation at the end notes!
> 
> Also check out the new tags and rating ;).

“When…” Sam starts slowly, “You mean when you met Steve?”

“No,” Bucky corrects. Their faces are just inches apart on Sam’s pillow. “When I met captain America.” Then he sighs. “How much do you know about Steve’s retirement?”

“Steve retired because his wife was getting older. That's common knowledge,” Sam says.

“Yeah, _common_.” He meets Sam’s eyes again. “But you and I both know that under every truth is a dirty secret. I'm Steve's.”

Sam shakes his head and squeezes Bucky’s metal hand lightly. “I'm not, I'm not getting what you're saying Buck.” He says apologetically. 

Bucky closes his eyes and exhales roughly through his nose. He opens them and looks right at Sam. “I was born in 1965.”

Sam pauses. That's impossible. “Bucky you barely look a day over 35.”

“I know.” His eyes get sad, distant. “I need to tell you about how I came to work for Hydra.”

They're still holding hands. They're so close. Sam can't help himself. He leans forward and closes the distance between their lips again softly. He knows this can't be easy for Bucky. It's a kiss full of encouragement. He pulls away and nods.

“I had a normal life growing up. My parents, sister Rebecka and I lived in a small town. I went to school just like everyone else, did very well. When I became of age I joined the Soviet Army. I figured I could make something of myself there. It didn't matter if my parents weren't rich enough to send me to some fancy university. I could send money home to my family. My sister wanted to be a nurse. If I sent enough money home, maybe my family could put her through school. She was so bright eyed and smart. We were two peas in a pod, me and her. I did even better in the army than I did in school. Then I lost my arm.” He wiggles the fingers of his metal hand around Sam’s.

“It was a train accident. A crash. Just a freak accident. The train derailed and killed nearly my entire unit. I woke up with that.” 

“Did they give it to you?” Sam asks.

“If by they you mean Hydra then yes. They told me I was brave, a good soldier and that I deserved it. Then they asked me to join them, work for them instead of the army or returning to civilian life. I said no. You know what happened?”

Sam shakes his head. He doesn't want to know, but he knows that Bucky needs to tell him.

“The next day they came in and showed me pictures of my parents’ dead bodies. They ripped them apart, tortured them to death slowly. Then they told me that they had brought my sister to an orphanage. They said that if I went with them she would survive. She still had a chance. They even said I could still help pay for her schooling.”

Sam can't help himself. He asks, “Hydra paid you?” 

Bucky scoffs, “They actually did, believe it or not. I declined again at first. I wanted to run. I begged them to take the arm from me. How could I ever look my sister in the face again knowing I was the reason our parents were dead? The man who came to see me laughed and told me about my arm, that it could never be removed, was infused into my spine. He told me that they weren't done. They would do worse if I didn't join them. He’d find my sister and kill her. He promised me that i’d never be able to find them again after they did it. That I would live my life knowing that my refusal killed all of them. My entire family.”

Sam lets out a long slow breath. Everything makes so much sense. Of course Barnes worked for Hydra. Of course he did.

“So I said yes. When I was 21 they took me to their compound in Siberia and injected me with some botched version of the Super Soldier Serum. It hurt like hell, but before I knew it I was different. Bigger, faster, stronger. They trained me into a killing machine.”

“Who did you have to kill?”

Bucky says, “Small targets at first. A diplomat that was opposing them, a businessman who was on to their plans. People like that. When I was 24, in 1989, that was the first time they ever tasked me with killing Steve Rogers.”

Sam startles, but Bucky continues before he can ask anything. “It was nearing the end of the Cold War. Captain America had recently discovered some of their most prominent bases. They sent me to one and told me to kill him.”

Bucky looks up from their intertwined hands into Sam’s eyes. He gives Sam a coy smirk and asks, “Can I have another kiss before I tell you about it?”

Sam chuckles, since what else does he expect from Bucky Barnes, and then gives Bucky another kiss. It's supposed to be sweet and chaste just like the first two but it's not. Bucky rolls onto his back and pulls Sam on top of him like he weighs nothing. Then Bucky cups Sam’s head with just enough pressure to drive their lips together again. Bucky licks into his mouth and Sam sucks on his bottom lip. It's hot and wet but it doesn't escalate, against all odds.

Bucky flops his head back onto the pillow and runs his hand over Sam’s hair gently. He smiles at Sam sadly. “I just had to do that once.”

Sam furrows his brow. What does that even mean? “Why only once?” He asks.

“Let me just finish this story. Then you’ll get it.”

Sam nods. He rests his head on Bucky’s chest since he gets the feeling that Barnes doesn't want eyes on him. Bucky strokes his head, neck and shoulders with his flesh hand. 

He takes a big, shuddering breath, then starts. “The base was outside of Moscow…”

_“Captain America will be there. He is just as strong as you, but you can kill him, Yasha.” Is what his handler had told him. James has seen the footage of the original super soldier. He knows what he's up against. He's looking forward to the challenge, to see how strong and ruthless Captain America really is._

_James decides that The Captain’s senses are too keen for him to hide anywhere, so he properly arms himself, pulls a chair to the middle of the control room and waits._

_After about an hour, he hears the Captain creeping down the hallway leading up to the room. He knows he has the element of surprise on his side so he raises his gun, trigger ready._

_Before the Captain has fully entered the room, James shoots him in the lower leg. He cries out in pain and falls to the floor, shield clattering a few feet away from him. James rushes over to him and kicks him before he can get up in the side of his head. The Captain is not phased as much as James had expected. He grabs James by the ankle and pulls him with a hard thud to the ground. White-hot pain radiates through James’ head as it thunks against the concrete._

_The momentary pause is all the Captain needs, he’s on top of James in a second, his forearm pressing down hard on James’ throat._

_“Who are you?” The Captain spits._

_James coughs, but manages, “The Asset of Hydra.”_

_The Captain’s eyes flash anger before his expression turns to shock. “You're...you're just a kid.” He says._

_“I am.” James struggles under his weight until his metal arm is free. He flips the Captain over and wraps it tightly around his throat._

_He starts to squeeze it when The Captain says, “You don't want to kill me.”_

_James freezes. “Yes I do,” He hisses._

_“If you did, you would have shot me in the head when I first walked in.”_

_Anger flashes through James. He reapplies pressure on to The Captain’s neck. He continues, “You're just a kid. Come with me. Let me help-” the rest of his sentence is choked off when he starts running out of air._

_The offer for help infuriates James even more. Captain America has no idea what he needs. Captain America doesn't know that if James went with him his sister would be dead._

_“You're not going to fight back?” He asks quietly. He's astounded. Captain America could easily beat him, but he's not even trying- like he'd rather die here than kill James._

_The Captain shakes his head. James growls with anger and applies just enough pressure so that The Captain loses consciousness. His flesh hand is shaking when he stands up. Why wouldn't the Captain fight him back? Why couldn't he kill The Captain? No one’s offered him help since Hydra came into his life. Has James really gone that soft? One offer of help is all that it takes to throw him off?_

_Or had he gladly accepted this mission knowing that Captain America was the only one strong enough to kill him?_

_As James exits the base, leaving an unconscious Steve Rogers behind, he prays that his handlers will accept that he misjudged The Captain’s strength and leave his sister out of his punishment. He knows this won't be the last time he's tasked with killing Steve Rogers._

When Bucky finishes relaying the story to him, Sam says, “Buck, what did they do to you?”

Bucky shuts his eyes, remembering. He says, “An experimental form of electroshock therapy that was supposed to remove memories.” 

Sam lets out a whimper against Bucky’s chest. Bucky gives his back another soothing stroke. “It only worked for short periods of time. My serum repaired my brain too quickly.”

Sam gulps, “What happened when you met Steve again?”

“It was 1991, a year before Steve retired.”

_Hydra sent him with a team, including his handlers to take out Captain America this time. James has been pretending that the memory wipes had held for years now. James was anxious to fight the Captain again, to see if anything had changed._

_James instructed his team to stay behind and wait for his signal. He would try to take out The Captain by himself first._

_He was already inside the empty Hydra base by the time James arrived. James found him in the basement, data mining files._

_He creeps around the corner of the room where Captain America stands. He holds up his rifle and takes aim. A voice stops him._

_“James. I know that you're there. I was hoping I'd see you again.” Captain America says._

_James lowers his gun and exhales roughly through his nose. He takes a few steps into the room._

_“How did you know my name?”_

_“I don't know if you know this, James, but SHIELD sees everything. We’ve been watching you for years now.”_

_James narrows his eyes at him._

_He continues, “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.” He finally looks up from the file and into James’ eyes. He walks closer to James as he speaks, “You were a successful sniper in the Soviet Army. Your parents were killed by Hydra. You have a sister-”_

_James feels his eyes go wide and scared, “Stop.” He begs._

_The Captain’s expression mirrors his own. James can see the fear that he's possibly relayed too much information running through him. “Come with me, James. Come over to SHIELD. We can help you.” He takes another step closer and mouths, “Her too.”_

_James is gasping for breath. He believes The Captain. He wants to go with him, wants safety for his sister more than anything else. He nods. Captain America smiles softly at him. Then his eyes widen suddenly. The last thing James hears is The Captain calling out for him before everything goes black._

_When James comes to, he's strapped in thick, metal restraints. He blinks his eyes a few times to orient himself. The room is almost pitch black, but the serum allows him to see a few feet away. He looks to his left to see Steve Rogers already awake and trapped in a similar device. He's straining against it with a set jaw, looking forward into the darkness. He sees something that James can not. James struggles against the restraints only to discover that the left one has somehow disabled his metal arm._

_“Captain, Yasha. So nice of you both to join us.” His handler mocks. Then the lights flick on._

_Rebecka, James’ sister, is strapped into the memory wipe chair. Her mouth is gagged. Her eyes are wild and pleading. When she sees James she starts screaming._

_“Rebecka!” James yells. He struggles against the restraints. He sees Captain America doing the same._

_Rebecka screams. His handler says, “Yasha, this is the second time you have failed to kill the Captain. You wasted your time listening to him try and convince you to leave us. You were considering it, weren't you?”_

_“No! No! I would never!” James yells, frantic._

_“Shut up!” His handler yells. “You did not comply. The Asset must comply.” He says the words slowly, letting them soak in as if James doesn't already know what's coming._

_“Please,” James begs, “please kill me instead. Let her go.”_

_His handler chuckles. Beside him, James hears The Captain let out a low growl. “No. You are too useful.” He smiles, devilish and evil. “Say goodbye.”_

_And that's when the electric shocks start. James screams for his sister. Her unenhanced body can't take it. She's dying. She's gone. He's failed her. Killed everyone he's ever loved._

_He can't break free of his restraints. He screams and screams._

_The last thing he remembers for the next five years is the sound of Captain America’s restraints being broken in his ears._

Sam picks his head up as Bucky finishes his story. He's crying, silent tears running down his face. Sam’s heart’s in his stomach. He feels sick. He reaches up and wipes a tear away from Bucky’s face. 

“Did Steve take you then?”

“No. He killed one of my handlers with his bare hands though. By the time he looked back to get me, someone had already taken me away. From then, they figured out that to keep the memory wipes working, I couldn't be functioning for more than a few days at a time. They started putting me in a cryochamber in-between missions. I forgot everything. I forgot my own name. All I was was a killing machine.”

Sam rests their foreheads together. “How did you get out?”

“I got lucky,” Bucky says, then he presses a quick kiss to Sam’s lips, like he can't help but not to since they're so close. “Steve’s strike team was sent to take out the base in Siberia where I was kept. He recognized me immediately. Tranquilized me before I could fully wake up. Brought me back with him. That was three years ago. SHIELD helped me rehabilitate. They gave me my apartment. Shit tons of therapy. My memories started coming back after a few days. Steve stood by my side the entire time. We became friends. He told me that seeing what happened to me along with Peggy getting older was what caused him to retire. Steve was always there for me, he let me know that I had a place in SHIELD when I was ready. A year ago I remembered that as a child I was called ‘Bucky’. He's the first person I've let call me that since 1975 maybe. You're the second.”

Sam rolls off of Bucky and pulls on his arm to encourage Bucky to face him again. Bucky rolls to his side and attempts to give Sam a small smile.

“You're remarkable for that, you know?” Sam tells him, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “Going through all of that and still wanting to do good. Still being…” He searches for the word, “somebody enjoyable to be around.”

Barnes’ smile spreads, becomes more genuine. “You like being around me?”

“Of course I do,” Sam smiles back. “Your annoying ass makes life interesting. Oh, speaking of which, how's your ass feeling?”

Bucky huffs “The wound’s probably closed up by now.”

“Want me to check?”

Bucky shakes his head, “I just want to hold you. Is that okay?”

Sam makes a sad sound in the back of his throat. He can't believe that after all Barnes has been through, the thing he wants most right now is just to hold him. He remembers the nights on the cruise ship, falling asleep and waking up safe in Bucky’s arms. Sam can't think of anything he'd like more right now either. He nods and says, “Please do.” 

 

The next morning Sam wakes up to a cold bed. Bucky had left some time during the night apparently. In his place is a note.

_Thanks for the bullet removal_  
My ass owes you  
-B 

***

The next time he sees Bucky is Monday morning at work. On his way in, he stops at the coffee shop to grab him and Bucky donuts and coffee. He tries to tame his excitement about seeing Bucky. All that kissing and snuggling the other night just made it even more apparent in Sam’s mind. He had a crush on James Barnes. 

Sam sees Barnes at his desk, frowning over some kind of file. 

“Don't think too hard, Buck. Wouldn't want to hurt yourself.”

Bucky looks up at him and smiles. He eyes spot the donuts and coffee and his smile falters ever so slightly before he catches himself. The brief change in expression makes Sam uneasy. 

“You get me breakfast, Wilson?” He questions.

Sam nods and places a coffee and the donuts on his desk. Bucky digs out a chocolate one with sprinkles. He takes a bite and makes a happy noise. “Good?” Sam asks.

“Mhm.” Bucky says. He looks back up at Sam. His face is a lot more serious than Sam expected it would be. “I figured it should have been me to bring you a special treat today though.” He swallows his bite then chews on his bottom lip like he's unsure.

“Nah,” Sam says. He gets a frantic feeling in his chest, like if he doesn't fix this he’ll lose Barnes for good. “It's cool. Get me next time.”

Barnes quirks his lips into a small smile and nods. That's the last time they speak all day.

Sam gets home half expecting Barnes to show up any minute with a bag of greasy take out. Bucky and dinner has become a constant in his life. Sam can't help that he misses Barnes, he gets attached to routines. He makes himself some simple pasta and a side salad for the sake of his grumbling stomach. He eats it in front of his TV. He's trying to watch the news. Even with the smooth voice of the news anchors and the noise of the cars on the street down below, his apartment feels too quiet. He finds himself almost subconsciously switching the channel to an animal documentary. It's one he's watched before with Barnes about lions. When the narrator starts to talk about herd mentality, Sam finds that maybe he wasn't hungry after all.

Sam went to bed when when the sun started casting long orange shadows into his living room. He figured that his foul mood along with his aching abdominal muscles (he feels almost back to normal since getting shot, but he's still not up to full strength) would allow him to fall asleep almost instantly. He was wrong.

It's well past midnight as Sam stares up at his ceiling. He’s been trying so hard to ignore why Barnes standoffish attitude towards him bothered him. He can't seem to any more. 

The thing about Sam is, he has a lot of friends, but he doesn't get _close_ to people anymore. After he and Riley split, Sam figured he was best on his own. Sam had hurt Riley so damn badly that the thought of bringing anyone new into his life made him feel sick. He couldn't be responsible for any more hurt. His dangerous job ended up being too much for Riley to handle and with nothing else stopping him, Sam chose SHIELD over love. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Steve’s the exception, but Sam and Steve are cut from the same cloth, made of the same kind of stuff. They’ll kill themselves trying not to bleed on anyone else. Sam knows that Steve is a safe person to get close to. He's never been afraid of being Steve’s friend. Bucky Barnes, however…

Bucky’s made Sam nervous from the start. First it was the fact that he was from Hydra, then it was the flirting, then the fact that Sam _liked_ the flirting. Next it was how Barnes seemed to care about him, how he showed up at Sam’s bedside after he'd been shot (Barnes only ended up leaving him for a few hours he entire time), then managed weasel his way into Sam’s everyday life- his routine.

In just a number of weeks, Bucky’s managed to infiltrate almost every aspect of Sam’s life, and scariest of all, - his heart.

Sam wants to be close to Bucky in a way that he hasn't wanted anyone since Riley. Bucky’s just as battered and broken as he is. Bucky’s job is just as dangerous. Bucky doesn't want things that Sam can't give him. Bucky’s intelligent and witty. He's damn good at what he does and loyal. He's caring and sweet. He's also sexy as hell and Sam wouldn't really mind being locked away on another cruise ship with him, though they probably wouldn't get much work done this time.

But the thing keeping Sam awake, is that just as Sam’s ready to dive in head first, he's making a very visible effort to pull away.

 

The next day at work turns out similarly. Barnes offers Sam a big, happy, good morning smile before remembering himself and sinking down a little. Then he very obviously avoids Sam the rest of the day. He spends time down in logistics and forensics even though he has no reason to be there. Sam spots him walking around with Steve, talking animatedly about something. Steve catches Sam’s eye and gives a little wave and a smile that Sam returns. Bucky doesn't even look his way once.

Sam gets home from work and sends Barnes a text right away.

Me: hey! Want to come over tonight? I'll order pizza

It's almost 30 minutes later when he finally gets a response.

Bucky: not tonight, sorry Sam

Sam sighs and tosses his phone down on to the floor. He doesn't feel much like pizza after all. He doesn't feel like really doing anything. He puts on a stupid animal documentary, grabs a blanket from his room and curls up on the couch. He feels sorry for himself. How could he be this stupid? How could he let himself get attached? 

He doesn't even try to stop the feelings of self pity and watches monkeys swing in the trees on his television until he drifts off to sleep. 

That's how the rest of the week goes. Bucky’s cordial but avoids him. Sam sulks more than he'd ever admit. The lack of Bucky in his life hits him hard. It isn't until Friday that the reason why Barnes is avoiding him becomes apparent.

He hadn't realized it until now but Barnes looks dead tired. He has dark circles under his eyes that Sam’s never seen before. He knows Steve can go a long ass time without sleeping. Has Barnes slept at all? 

He finds Barnes eating lunch in the cafe and corners him. He places both palms down on the table in front of Barnes and leans over him.

“Can I help you, Sam?” Barnes asks, quirking an eyebrow in surprise. 

“Maybe. Have you slept since you were at my house?”

Barnes startles visibly at the question. His eyes harden before turning down to the table. He chews on his bottom lip. “A little.”

“And you've been avoiding me.” It takes every ounce of strength in Sam’s body, every tactic in his SHIELD agent arsenal to keep his voice even as he says that. He can't let the I can't sleep because I miss you annoying me. I let you in, asshole. I let you in my life and you're running scared show. He can't. 

He's not sure he succeeds. Barnes locks eyes with him and looks sad, apologetic. Sam continues anyway, not letting himself falter. “You think that what you told me is going to scare me off.” 

Sam’s about to tell him that he doesn't care, he figured Bucky will be relieved at hearing it, but he doesn't get a chance to. Barnes’ eyes harden again, his accent is harsh, “You shouldn't have to care about someone like me. You don't get to decide what decisions I make are acceptable or not either.” And with that he's up, the screech of his chair ringing loudly in Sam’s ears as he quickly stalks off. Sam doesn't see him again the entire day.

 

It's just after ten when Sam’s phone rings. He'd been drifting in and out of sleep, but when he sees the name on his phone he suddenly isn't tired at all.

“Hello?”

Barnes says, “Sam? I need your help.”

Sam meets him a few blocks from his house about twenty minutes later. He has a gun tucked in the back of his jeans and three knives on various places on his body. Barnes had explained that the goons who shot him are back at his apartment building, still hiding in a van parked a block away. Sam parks his car and sets off to walk until he finds Bucky. He gets about half a block before a metal hand is shooting out of a dark alley and pulling him down it.

“Jesus, Buck! You could-” the rest of Sam’s sentence is cut off by Barnes pressing his lips against Sam’s in a searing, hot kiss.

Barnes breaks them apart quickly, mind still on the mission. “I'm sorry.” He says against Sam’s lips. 

Sam’s breathless, he leans in and kisses Bucky again, then says, “We’re not done talking about this.”

Barnes nods, his expression loses some of the passion it held and turns a little colder. “Let's bust some skulls.”

Bucky decides that the best way to handle the goons is for him to sneak into his apartment by climbing up the fire escape and for Sam to head in the front. Sam watches as Bucky jumps maybe seven feet in the air and pulls himself up on to the metal fire escape. He doesn't let himself get turned on by it and heads in the front entrance how Bucky instructed.

Bucky’s waiting with the door to his apartment cracked open by the time Sam makes it upstairs. Bucky motions for him to enter the apartment silently. He shuts the door with the lightest click. It's completely dark inside, so Sam can't see a thing. Bucky and him are in the small foyer, pressed up against the door. Bucky’s staring at him hard. Sam can feel the heat of his gaze from where he's standing on the opposite wall.

“Don't avoid me again.” Sam whispers.

“I won't.” Bucky says. Sam doesn't know why but he really believes him. Bucky whispers, “We need to figure out who they are and what they want, but most of all we need to take them down and fast. These walls are thin, one bullet goes through a wall and we have a kid or an innocent person eating dinner shot.”

Sam nods. “We waiting?”

“Yeah. They shouldn't be long. Probably trying to wait until some more lights flick off for the night.”

Sam and Bucky only have to wait for about twenty minutes before they hear the door to the building slam and heavy boot footfalls track up the stairs. “Ready?” Bucky asks him, reaching into his jeans for his gun.

“Yeah.” Sam replies. He takes a big, steadying breath before grabbing his own pistol and flicking off the safety. He lines himself up behind Bucky who has his hand positioned on the door, ready to throw it open. He listens for the footfalls to come closer before he throws the door open. It literally falls off of its hinges but knocks out a goon in the process. 

“Bad choice, coming back again.” Bucky says into the hallway. He stalks out with his gun trained on them. Sam follows. There’s four more of them. Sam and Bucky could easily take them out with just their hands, but you can never be too careful. Sam doesn't heal like a super soldier and he'd rather not get shot again.

One of the men in the back laughs in response. Sam quirks an eyebrow at him and asks, “You think this is funny?”

The man continues laughing. He's dressed differently than the others, in a long black leather coat. Sam can tell by the way he carries himself that he's obviously then one in charge. “No.” The man answers. “I just think it's very funny how this turned out. What a wonderful coincidence. It's nice to see you _Yasha_.”

Beside him, Barnes tenses and inhales sharply. “I am not him any more. I'm James again.”

“It appears so, since Captain America , or Commander Rogers now, freed you from us.” 

Sam’s stomach drops out. These guys are _Hydra_. He should be calling for backup but with the way Bucky’s reacting besides him, Sam doesn't think he should even try.

“I do not belong to you.” Bucky spits. 

The man barks a vile laugh. “We’re sure you don't. We were actually coming after your neighbor there. She'd make a wonderful asset to us. Did you know that she's the best female martial artist in DC? Did you know that her parents were about to lose their home when her father lost her job? Who do you think helped them, Yasha?”

Barnes exhales through his nose roughly, his mouth almost snarling. When he doesn't give an answer, the man does. “Hydra did. Just like we helped you. Now it's time for them to repay their debt.” 

Sam remembers Barnes’ story from the other night, what they did to him and made him do. “I can't let you do that,” Sam says, taking a step forward. He hears Bucky’s gentle gasp and knows, Bucky’s scared. 

“And who are you?” The man asks Sam.

“That's none of your business.” 

“You work for SHIELD with Yasha?”

“His name is James.” Sam hisses. “And yeah, I do.”

“Don't speak to him!” Bucky growls. “Touch him and I'll rip you apart with my bare hands. You know what I'm capable of.” 

The man scoffs, “Have it your way.”

With that, one of the hydra goons grabs Sam by the shoulders, knocking his gun across the floor. Sam reacts quickly, kicking the guy in his crotch before swinging down and taking his ankles out from under him. He hits the ground with a rough thud. Another man comes up behind Sam and grabs him, holding his arms behind his back. Sam uses the other man to push himself up and kick the man he had just sent to the ground in the head, effectively knocking him out. Sam backs the man holding his arm up against the wall. In shock he lets go of Sam’s arms and receives and elbow to his face for his troubles before he crumples to the ground. When Sam looks over at Bucky he finds him at a standoff with the man in the leather jacket, both of them with guns trained on each other. Sam recognizes his gun in the man’s hand and curses himself for dropping it internally. The other two men are lying motionless on the floor.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Bucky tells the man. “I'll heal if you shoot me, if I shoot you you'll be dead.”

“Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.” The man calmly responds.

Bucky growls. The man says something to him in rapid fire Russian that Sam can't even try to understand. Bucky’s face loses all its color. 

Bucky says, “You _son of a bitch_.”

Sam finally finds it in himself to take some action, he reaches into his back pocket for the throwing knife he'd hid there. He unsheathes it and while the man opens his mouth to continue his terrifying speech to Bucky, Sam sends the knife flying through the air and into his shoulder. The man cries out and drops the gun. Bucky hastily picks it up. 

“Go outside. Call Steve.” He instructs Sam without looking away from the man. His gun is still drawn on him. The man looks eerily calm. All three of them know what's about to happen to him.

Sam does what he is told, by the time he makes it to the front steps he's heard three gunshots.

He stays outside for the time it takes Steve to make it to Bucky’s building. The men that are still alive upstairs should stay unconscious. If they don't Sam thinks they’ll have a similar fate to the man in the leather jacket.

Steve pulls up with a few other SHIELD agents in a van. He looks stern-faced as he gets out.

“Hydra?” He questions.

Sam nods, “They were after one of Bucky’s neighbors. They're trying to recruit more assets.”

Steve hisses, “Did they know Bucky lived here?”

“Not until now.”

“Okay. I doubt they’ll try anything new tonight. We’re gonna have to get him out of here tomorrow.”

“He can come stay with me.” Sam offers. 

Steve quirks an eyebrow at him in response. 

Sam shrugs. “Just trying to be a good partner, Steve”

SHIELD collects the unconscious men, arresting them and hauls the body of the man in the leather jacket away. Bucky stands watching the entire time, still vibrating with adrenaline. Sam knows it's going to take both of them a lot to come down from this one. 

When they're packing up to leave, Steve motions for Bucky to follow him outside. He probably wants to hear the full story again. Bucky’s going to have a shit ton of paperwork to fill out on Monday.

Sam’s leaning against the wall in the hallway adjacent to Bucky’s apartment door when Bucky walks past him returning from his talk with Steve. He quickly sticks his metal arm out, wraps it around Sam’s waist and swoops him up. Sam squeaks, “Fuck! Put me down, Bucky!”

Bucky takes a step into his apartment and attempts to shut the door, it just falls off its hinges. Bucky puts him down and slams him up against the wall. His eyes are wild as he presses their hips together.

“Mm Sam, Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Barnes asks, breathing out the words heavily. His eyes are dark with want.

“Uh, actually it's a knife.” Sam says, leaning further into Barnes’ space. 

Barnes huffs. “Didn't know you to be so kinky.” He gives his hips a roll against Sam’s. It's all electric heat and breath between their two bodies now. Sam’s aching for Bucky, the anticipation making it even worse.

Sam reaches around to grab Bucky’s ass with both hands. “There's a lot you don't know about me Barnes.” That's all Sam can take. He snaps, leaning up and closing the distance between their mouths. 

Barnes makes a shocked noise in his chest. He grinds himself down onto Sam as he licks into his mouth. Sam moans appreciatively into the kiss. He can feel how hard Bucky is against him. He remembers how big Bucky is. Just thinking about Bucky inside him makes him whimper. Bucky gives another roll of his hips in response. He breaks his lips away from Sam’s and busies himself mouthing his way down Sam’s jaw to his neck. Sam groans and wraps a hand through Bucky’s hair. He gives it a yank and feels Bucky’s shudder. 

“We need, oh fuck, to talk about this.” Sam moans. He doesn't much feel like trying or stopping right now, but Bucky needs to know.

“Later,” Bucky growls, then he’s working Sam’s pants open with his right hand, his metal hand squeezing hard at Sam’s hip to keep him in place.

Sam moans at the first contact of Bucky’s hand against his dick. Bucky rubs his palm up and down Sam’s hard length and groans hot into Sam’s neck before smashing their lips together again. Sam bites at Bucky’s bottom lip and says, “Yours too.”

It's hot and feverish, there's literally no door separating them from the hallway and they should really move to a bed and do this right but Sam can't think of anything other than his aching, dripping cock. Bucky gets his pants undone and shoves them down to his thighs before leaving back in. He gives Sam another kiss full of teeth before he breaks away and holds up his palm up to Sam’s mouth.

“Lick.” He commands. And Sam does, licking a hot, wet stripe up Bucky’s hand. Bucky moans at the feeling.

Bucky takes both of their dicks into his hand. It's a filthy slide. Bucky’s dick is so big and wet against Sam’s. Christ, it's so good. Sam can't help but thrust his hips into the friction.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bucky swears, “wanted you so bad Sam.” 

Sam can only moan in response, his mind filled with nothing other than how good he feels. Bucky’s hips are moving in time with his hand. He's breathing out hot little moans. His hips stutter a few times then he's coming, hot and wet all over the both of them. He moans long and low, cries out Sam’s name like a prayer and that's what sends Sam over the edge, moaning, “Oh, _oh_ ” and coming right along with him.

Bucky strokes them both through it and rests his forehead against Sam’s. They spend a moment breathing into each other’s mouths before Sam kisses him again. “Bed?” He asks hopefully. The adrenaline is draining out of him fast. He wants to rest.

“Yeah.” Bucky agrees.

Bucky strips off his clothes as soon as they make it into his bedroom and crawls into bed. It's still dark, so Sam can't really make out what the room looks like. Sam undresses and joins Bucky in his bed. It's perfectly firm, another necessity from living the lives that they both live. A soft bed never quite feels right any more.

Bucky pulls him in close, his back to Bucky’s chest, metal arm strewn across Sam’s middle. Sam feels Bucky’s dick rubbing against his ass. 

“You still hard?” He asks, kind of amazed, he feels his dick twitch hopefully. 

“Yeah. Serum.” Bucky kisses Sam’s shoulder, then nips it. “Wanna go again?”

Sam does. Bucky keeps him on his side like he's spooning. He opens him up slowly with the fingers of his flesh hand. He murmurs sweet nothings into his ear the whole time. He tells Sam how good he is, how beautiful he is. Sam eats it up, he's already a bit overstimulated and can feel his world narrowing down to nothing but this, right here, right now.

When Bucky slides into him, gripping his hip for purchase, Sam’s reduced to nothing but pants and quiet moans. 

“Relax, baby,” Bucky says, soothing him. “You're so good, so perfect for me.”

Bucky is too. He feels amazing as he moves inside Sam, slow thrusts so that Sam can feel the heavy drag of Bucky’s dick.

“Touch me Buck.” Sam says when he feels like he can stand it. Bucky does, wrapping a hand around Sam as he rocks his hips.

Bucky comes first with a loud groan that he muffles by biting down on Sam’s shoulder. He's not staying hard this time so he pulls out and rolls Sam onto his back then sucks Sam’s dick into his mouth quickly. Sam moans, getting two handfuls of Bucky’s hair and pulling. Bucky makes quick work of him, his plump, pink lips and tongue working around him. Sam comes with a quiet moan of Bucky’s name. Bucky swallows him down then rests his head on Sam’s thigh, just panting.

“Come up here.” Sam says. 

Bucky gives him a smile and does, pulling Sam into the same position they started in. He tucks his head into the crook of Sam’s neck. 

After a few minutes, Bucky says, “Sam, I, I just wanted to-”

He's interrupted by Sam’s phone ringing. Sam groans, “Hold that thought Bucky, could be work.”

It's a number he doesn't recognize, but Maria or Steve would call him from anywhere so he picks up. 

“Sam Wilson?” The man on the line says. He has a Russian accent. Sam’s thrown into overdrive at the sound. He knows what that means.

“What the fuck do you want?”

The caller laughs, “I think we might have something that belongs to you. Hail Hydra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Bucky tells Sam about his time with hydra. He tells Sam the story of how his family was brutally killed by them and how he was subjected to memory wipes and cryo. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! xoxo


	4. to the rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wants to yell NEVER. He wants to scream and shout. He feels murderous. How dare they? The man continues before he gets a word out. “Mr. Wilson you have 24 hours to decide. I’ll send you our location. That should give you enough time to come here. Talk with you soon.” Then the call disconnects.

“What?” Sam questions. Something of his? 

The caller laughs. “Here, speak to him.” and before the phone gets passed off Sam just knows.

“Sam!” It's Riley. He's screaming. “Sam! They got me! I'm-”

The caller must take the phone away because Sam can't hear what Riley was about to say, his voice becoming too distant to reach Sam’s ears.

“Let him go.” Sam hisses. 

The caller says, “We will. On one condition. We want you to bring Barnes to us and have him surrender.”

Sam wants to yell _NEVER_. He wants to scream and shout. He feels murderous. How dare they? The man continues before he gets a word out. “Mr. Wilson you have 24 hours to decide. I’ll send you our location. That should give you enough time to come here. Talk with you soon.” Then the call disconnects. 

Sam lets out a primal growl. He hears his blood thumping in his ears. He immediately stands up and begins rummaging through Bucky’s dresser, pulling on the clothes that he thinks will fit him best.

“Sam.” Bucky says firmly from where he's still seated on his bed. “Who do they have?”

“Riley.” Sam pulls on a pair of Bucky’s boxers.

Bucky swears, “Hydra?”

Sam nods, he's not even sure he wants to tell Bucky what they want in return. He'd rather leave now and try to get Riley out himself. He knows he’ll have a decent chance with his wing pack and a surprise attack, but even then Sam can't imagine him and Riley both coming out of the base unharmed.

Bucky watches him closely for a moment before asking, “What do they want in return?” He knows Hydra well enough that they wouldn't just kidnap someone without having a goal in mind. 

Sam furrows his brow and lets out a long breath. “You.”

Bucky clicks his teeth and swears loudly. “I knew they'd try something like this.” He groans and pulls at his hair, “I thought they'd try to go after you first.”

Sam huffs, bitter, “Well I guess I must have impressed them. They must have thought Riley would be an easier target.”

Bucky groans again, “God I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. This is all my fault.”

“What could you have done Bucky? Just ran back to them the first chance you got to protect me? Never leave me out of your sight?”

Bucky hangs his head and doesn’t reply. 

Sam pulls on a pair of Bucky’s sweats. “You don't have to come with me, you know.”

“What are you crazy?” Bucky asks. “You’d be lost without me. Of course I'm coming.”

Sam rolls his eyes, “Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.” But he does feel a surge of gratitude towards Bucky that he’d so willingly march back into a fight with his old captors because Sam needs him to. 

“This really is all because of me, Sam.” Bucky sounds more defeated than he did when he said it the first time.

“Save it.” Sam tells him sternly. “That's not going to get us anywhere. What's going to get us somewhere is thinking of a plan. Riley and I both got offered jobs from SHIELD after our second tour in the Air Force. Riley wanted out, I didn't. He doesn't want the kind of life that you and I lead anymore. We both know he doesn't deserve this shit, but we both know that Hydra’s an entirely different kind of fucked up. If we sit around blaming ourselves that's only taking time from what we need to do.”

Bucky sighs, “You're right.”

Sam shrugs and throws Bucky a pair of boxers to put on. “I'm always right.”

Beside Bucky on the bed, Sam’s phone pings with a message. Bucky picks it up, frowns at it. “The base is in Northeastern, Pennsylvania.” He plugs the address into the gps on Sam’s phone. “It's five hours from here.”

Sam feels a new pang of anger rip through him. He wants to tear those fuckers to pieces. “Alright. Come on, get dressed. We have to get moving. If we make it there before they expect us we have the best chance.”

Bucky nods and starts to pull on his boxers, “Sam between us we’re decently armed right now, but we are gonna need a bit more firepower.”

Sam fishes out a shirt and pulls it over his head. “We’re also going to need a bit more manpower. Luckily, we both know a pretty powerful dude.”

It takes less time for Steve to get to his front door than Sam expected. Bucky knocks on it with his metal arm since it's especially loud. Steve opens his front door, dressed only in a pair of plaid pajama pants. He’s half asleep and groggy. “You guys okay?” He asks, rubbing his eyes. “I just fell asleep like an hour ago.”

“They've got Riley.” Sam tells him.

Steve freezes mid-eye rub. “Who?”

“Hydra.” Barnes says, “they want me back so they took Riley and told Sam that to get him back they want me to surrender.”

Steve furrows his brow. Sam watches as his jaw sets and his body posture straightens. “You're not thinking of actually going are you?”

“He's not,” Sam answers for Bucky. “We’re storming the base before they expected us to be there. Figure that gives us the best chance.”

Steve nods, “You're right. I'm guessing you're not here just to tell me that though.”

“What do you say, Steve? You busy tonight?” Bucky asks, grinning. If there's anything they both know about Steve Rogers it's that he will always help a friend in need.

Steve shrugs and smiles, “I can't think of anything I'd rather do, actually.”

Steve quickly dresses and gathers his shield and a few other supplies. Bucky busies himself making sandwiches for them all to eat on the way. The three of them all pile into Sam’s sedan and head to SHIELD headquarters to stock up on some more weapons and tac gear. 

Steve uses his ID badge to swipe them all into the weaponry. Bucky immediately goes to the sniper rifles and selects his favorite. He gives the gun a little kiss, “Hello, pretty.” He coos.

Sam snorts and grabs a pistol to shove in his gear. 

“Hey Sam,” Bucky says thoughtfully. “Do you think you could carry me with your wings if I could hold on to you?”

“He's carried me a few times.” Steve notes.

Sam has, and it wasn't very fun at all so he’s about to protest when he looks over and spots Barnes holding a giant assault rifle. Bucky shrugs. “Could be useful.” 

Sam raises an eyebrow, considering it. “Bring two” 

When they've gotten their gear and are heading back to Sam’s car he realizes something. “Hey, I don't think we should take my car.”

“Why not?” Bucky asks.

“Well for one, it's a lease and I'm close to hitting mileage.” Bucky sighs in Sam’s direction, “And I actually really need it. I can't afford for something to go wrong. Can't we just take a SHIELD van?”

“Commander of SHIELD or not I really don't feel like getting in trouble with Fury for that.” Steve says, looking around the almost-empty parking lot. “Huh.” 

“Who taught you how to steal a fucking car?” Sam says once Steve's gotten the 1999 Honda Accord started. Sam’s impressed. 

Steve finishes loading up the trunk and gives Sam a big grin. “My wife, and we’re borrowing it. Don't get it messy.” 

Sam stares at Steve for a minute before breaking out into a grin. 

“Who doesn't know how to steal a car?” Bucky says after a scoff and a wave of his hand.

Sam gives a shrug. “I've never had to before and Steve, there's no way we’re just borrowing this.”

Steve makes an annoyed sound and gets into the driver's’ seat. As Bucky's heading for the passenger side door Sam shouts, “Shotgun!” 

Bucky groans and opens the door to the backseat. “I'm too tall to sit back here!”

Sam smiles at him before climbing in the car, “You'll be just fine.”

The Honda makes a troubling squealing noise when it gets over 45 mph, but it seems to be holding up. Sam gives a little stretch in the front seat. “So what's the plan?”

“Buck’s going to pick off any of the outlying guards first.” Steve says.

“Correct.” Bucky says, “Hydra bases have three lines of defense, four if you count the actual base itself. There will be outlying guards out of view of the base to catch possible intruders. I'm going to set up and take them out first. Sam, I figure you can use your wings to quietly retrieve an entrance badge from one of them after I've taken them down.”

“I can do that.”

“Then there's the larger cluster of guards protecting the front door. I think I have a plan for you and your wings there too.”

Sam gives a little sigh, “I'm not going to like this plan, am I?”

Bucky laughs, “Nope.”

 

Sam does his best after that to get some shuteye. He's been asleep for about an hour when he is woken up by a kick to the back of his seat. 

“Hey!”

“I'm sorry!” Bucky says with a frustrated noise. “I told you I'm too tall! Can you move your seat up?”

“No! Absolutely not. You can just lie down in the back seat!”

“But the seatbelts would dig into my back!”

“I'm not moving my seat up. You're like an inch taller than me.”

“That's not true! I'm at least four inches taller than you. You're full of shit.”

“ _You're_ full of-”

“Children.” Steve admonishes with a smile. “Bucky just lie down. Sam, go back to sleep. I'll wake you when we’re a little closer.”

Sam turns around and sticks his tongue out at Bucky. Bucky lays down and blows him a kiss in return.

When Sam dreams, he dreams of Riley.

_“You're gonna kill me one of these days, Sammy.” Riley says, stroking the side of Sam’s face._

_“It's part of my job.” He gives Riley a kiss. “If I didn't get in there innocent lives would have been lost.”_

_Riley looks at him like his heart is breaking. Sam kisses him again, trying to soothe him. “I know, baby. I know. I just worry about you so much.”_

_Sam sits himself in Riley's lap, then winces when pain shoots through him from his bruised ribs. Riley notices immediately and his brows draw up. “Sammy…Honey…”_

_“Riley we've been doing this for years. This is what we do. We save people and put ourselves on the line.”_

_“Yeah and I stopped so we could have a different life. I don't want to have to worry about you anymore. Please Sam, can't you take a desk job with SHIELD? Is it SHIELD you still want? Is that why you won't quit? They'd give you a desk job.”_

_Sam sighs, “It's not SHIELD. It's the job. It's helping people.”_

_“Baby please, just promise me you'll think about it. I love you so much. I hate seeing you in pain. If something happened to you…” He drifts off and kisses Sam’s cheek. “If something happened to you I wouldn't be able to take it.”_

_Sam tries to give him a smile back knowing damn well he's not leaving SHIELD, “I promise I'll think about it. I promise.”_

Sam’s dreams go further back. 

_“Hey, Sam.” It's Riley. Sam's been partnered up with him a few times so far during their training. The guys awesome. He's funny and full of southern charm. Sam is proud enough to admit he's pretty smitten with the guy. It'd be hard not to be._

_“Hey Riley! What's up?”_

_Riley sits himself down next to Sam at the table. Sam gives him a smile that he returns, his entire face lighting up with it._

_“Well we have time off this weekend together and uh, well I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to grab a drink with me.”_

_“Sure man. That sounds fun, who else is coming?”_

_“No Sam. Just me.” He pauses and his eyes pop out of his head. “Oh god! I'm sorry! I've been reading this situation completely-”_

_“No!” Sam says, interrupting him with a chuckle. “No you haven't.”_

_Riley's blue eyes darken and he bites his bottom lip, “Really?”_

_“Yes really.” Sam says, returning Riley’s gaze. “I'd really like that.”_

_Riley smiles, big and bright.“Good. Me too.”_

_Riley takes him out on Saturday night. They dance and drink and talk. Sam's never felt more at ease with anyone in his life. He feels more at home sitting across from Riley in the bar than he has the entire time he's been in the Air Force. When they're leaving the bar, Riley pulls him into an empty alleyway._

_“I had such a good time with you tonight.”_

_“Me too.” Sam says, leaning into him, unable to help himself._

_Riley leans into him and cups the side of Sam’s face. “Let's do this again, baby.” Then he presses a kiss to Sam’s lips. Sam feels fireworks behind his eyes. When he pulls away-_

_When he pulls away, Riley’s face is bright red. His nose is gone. He’s laughing, he's the Red Skull._

_“No!” Sam says, pushing the Red Skull away. “Where did Riley go? You bastard!” The Red Skull keeps laughing._

_“You'll never get him back!” He taunts._

_Sam looks to his left and sees Riley there, tied up in a memory wipe chair. “No!” Sam says, running to try and catch him before they turn it on. “No!” Why is it taking so long for him to get there? Riley was right there. Right there! “No!”_

_“Sam!” Riley screams. “Sam!”_

“Sam!” Bucky says gently, shaking Sam awake with his hand on Sam's shoulder. 

Sam gasps and sputters, bringing himself back to the present. 

“You okay?” Bucky asks, leaning forward from the back seat of the car. Sam sees Steve’s eyes flick over to him. He looks worried. 

“Yeah.” Sam says, breathing slowly to calm himself. “Yeah.”

“We’re gonna get him back.” Steve says, sure of himself and stern. 

“I know.” Sam says, he looks over at Bucky. “I know we are. We have to.”

 

They park a few miles away from the base and hike through the woods to get close. They’re silent the entire time, focused on the goal. Sam doesn’t let his thoughts run to ‘what ifs’ and ‘what abouts’. He can’t afford to. Riley needs him. 

They come to a cliff that overlooks the Hydra base where they all stop. There’s a thin forest below them, then a small grass clearing, then the actual hydra base. The treeline isn’t full but it’s almost impossible to see through, especially from this far away.Sam whistles, “Shit. This is our best chance at taking out the perimeter guards but this is way too far for you to hit anything.”

Barnes scrunches his face up, considering, then smiles. “No it’s not.”

He finds a little tuft of grass that’s longer than the rest and lays down on it with his sniper rifle. Steve and Sam take cover behind a tree line just to his right in case he’s noticed. Steve raises his shield in front of them both. It’s nothing but quiet and stillness for a few minutes, the lack of sound ringing loudly in Sam’s ears. Through it, Bucky says, “Hey Sammy, want to see something cool?” Then he fires. 

Sam can’t see anything different. Not a body hitting the ground or a rustle in the trees. “Did you just...?” He asks Bucky. 

Bucky turns around and grins dangerously, “One down.”

Steve and Sam wait as Bucky meticulously picks off the outlying guards. There aren’t many trees below them, but there must be just enough that no one’s noticed them so far. After about half an hour, Bucky stands. “They’re all down. Five of them.”

Steve grins at Bucky, “Never cease to amaze me.” 

Bucky gives him a little smile back, “Let’s hope I can keep amazing you. Now we need a way in the base. You ready Sam?”

Sam nods, “Tell me where one of them is.”

“The easiest for you to get to is going to be right there,” He points to a spot at the edge of the treeline to Sam’s left. There’s a little break in the trees a few meters away that Sam can land in. 

“Got it.” Sam says. He backs up a few paces and then runs forward to the edge of the cliff to get as much speed as he possibly can. He just needs to get the Hydra guard’s badge and then get back to Steve and Bucky. He jumps off of the cliff without extending his wings, knowing that free-falling for a few seconds will help him go even faster. Just before Sam hits the tops of the trees he extends his wings and glides straight over them. He heads to his left, to where the guy Bucky’s taken down should be. He lands himself in the small clearing and ducks straight into the woods. It only takes Sam about ten seconds of searching before he spots the boot of a man behind the tree. Sam grimaces when he sees the guy. A headshot. That super soldier serum is something else. Sam plucks his badge from him and tucks it into his pocket. He then jogs back to the clearing, extends his wings and takes off back up to the top of the cliff were Steve and Bucky are. 

When he lands his wings automatically fold back in. “Shit, Buck. How did you manage a headshot this far away and through a fucking forest?”

Bucky shrugs, and gives a little nod to the giant concrete base below, “Them.” 

Sam feels a twinge in his gut at that. As much as this is a personal mission for him, with Hydra having Riley, it’s immensely personal for Bucky and Steve too. Steve’s spent the majority of his life fighting Hydra. Bucky’s spent most of his life fighting for them. Sam looks at Bucky then, as he stares down the base with his jaw set, looking like he wants to tear the place down bit by bit. He feels a sudden rush of gratitude and pride toward Bucky. Bucky’s here fighting for both Riley and himself. He feels his earlier anger toward Hydra return and multiply inside of him. They're not getting away with shit this time.

“Ready for the second phase?” Steve questions behind Sam. 

“Yeah,” Sam answers, pulling the entrance keycard from his pocket. “We’re ready.”

“Good work.” Steve says.

Sam gives him a nod, “How are you going to get down there, Steve?”

Steve points to a small trail along the side of the cliff that leads to the ground level, “Wanna race, Sam?”

“Prepare to get your ass kicked. I’ll even give you a head start.” Sam says. 

Steve gives them both a little salute and then starts sprinting down the trail. 

Sam extends his wings, “If I had a sling for you this would be a lot easier.”

Bucky smiles, “You just focus on flying straight and holding on to me. I’ll do all the hard work.”

“Yeah well, I’m pretty sure that holding on to your heavy ass isn’t going to be easy.” Sam takes a breath and bounces up and down on his toes, hyping himself up. “You ready?”

Bucky, armed with two giant assault rifles, straps his sniper rifle to his back, “Whenever you are, Sweetums.”

Bucky heads so that he’s standing on the edge of the cliff, toes dangling from the side. Sam comes up behind him and wraps his arms around Bucky’s mid section. He clasps his hands together and wishes he had done extra curls at the gym last week. “Three, two…”

Then they dive. 

Wind whips along Sam’s ears as he and Bucky take their initial fall before evening out when the jet pack kicks in. Bucky starts laughing, readying his gun. “You need to take me flying more often!” He yells over the wind. 

Sam can already feel his muscles starting to tire, “Hell no I don't.”

Sam gets them past the trees and close to the clearing. He sees a cluster of about ten guards surrounding the front of the base. Right before they would come in to view of the guard closest to them, Bucky starts shooting. The gun fires in quick succession, bullets flying out of the barrel too fast for Sam to keep track of how many there are. It’s only because of Bucky’s brute strength that Sam doesn’t feel any of the recoil from the gun. 

The guards go down one by one as Bucky fires at them. Sam has to pull up at the last second when he sees them start to notice him and Bucky’s presence and fire back. Sam bobs and weaves in the air, holding strong onto Bucky and avoiding the bullets. Sam swoops back down again to get Bucky within range, and within seconds the rest of the guards fall to the ground. Sam gets them a few feet from the ground and drops Bucky on to his feet. 

Bucky’s cheeks are pink from the wind, “That was fun!”

Sam gives him a look, “Yeah if you say so, Buck.” He sees Steve running in from his right side. “We beat Steve!” 

“Yeah well the big guy should hurry up. We need to get in there before they notice all their guards are dead and sound an alarm.” Bucky says, motioning for Steve to run faster. 

“I’m comin, Jesus!” Steve says, winded. “How did you guys do that so fast?”

Sam gives Bucky’s shoulder a little bump with his own, “We make a good team.”

Sam swipes the keycard at the front door and the giant doors to the base swing open with a creak. 

Steve leads the way through the base with his shield raised in front of them. Sam is in the middle with Bucky watching his back. Sam raises his gun and flicks off the safety, ready to shoot when they run into their first guard. The hallway smells stale and like mildew. It’s a dimly-lighted concrete building, walls smeared with dirt and dust. The first hallway they encounter is empty and the three of them creep along the wall. When they’re about to round the corner Steve stops. He turns to Sam with a little jerk of his head, indicating that he can hear footsteps. Sam nods back and leans over Steve’s body with his gun raised to peer around the wall. Sam sees two guards there, stopped in the middle of the hallway talking to each other. He takes them out quickly and with two shots, their bodies hitting the ground with a soft thud. When Steve’s sure they’re down, he continues on.

They reach a door to a different hallway. Sam can see that this hallway is more brightly lit than the one they’re currently in. It must be more important. He reaches in his pocket for the security keycard and places it in Steve’s waiting palm. He can hear Bucky breathing out of his noise roughly behind him. 

Steve whispers, “I see two guards outside of a room. That’s probably the one.” 

“I’d have to think so too.” Bucky agrees. 

Sam nods and sets his jaw, “Let’s do it.”

Steve swipes the card and the door swings open. Sam’s gun is up in an instant, firing through the first guard before he can get his own out. Bucky’s stepped out from behind Sam and efficiently takes out the other one. They sprint down the hallway to the door that the guards were protecting. Steve swipes the keycard immediately for entrance, there’s no use looking inside through the window, there’s no way the occupants of the room didn’t hear their gunshots. 

Inside the room they’re met with three giant guards, a man wearing a lab coat, and Riley. Riley’s strapped to a chair and gagged, knowing him, he was probably running his mouth to his captors the best he could. His eyes widen at the sight of Sam. Steve moves first, throwing the shield at the first guard’s head accurately. He falls to the ground just as Steve catches the shield back in his hand. Bucky takes out the second guard with a single headshot. The third guard fires at them. Sam ducks quickly to miss the bullet, allowing Steve enough time to throw the shield at him again. Steve doesn’t hit as accurately this time but the man stumbles backwards, giving Sam enough time to shoot him through his stomach. Steve throws the shield again, knocking the man to the ground. 

When Sam returns his vision back to Riley, the man in the lab coat has his gun pressed to Riley’s temple. Riley’s eyes are still wide and trained on Sam. The man in the lab coat, however, is staring right through Bucky.

“Yasha, what a pleasure to see you here.” The man says. “You’re early. Are you here to join us again?” 

Bucky visibly pales at the sight of the man. Sam resists the urge to kill the man right where he stands. He could be enhanced. The fact that Bucky and Steve aren’t doing anything is sign enough that Sam should stay put and see how this all plays out. 

“Never,” Bucky breathes. “You’re not taking me back.”

He starts to laugh. “Oh, you’ve brought Captain America with you! How sweet! You two are friends now!” The man taunts. 

Sam can hear Steve’s loud exhale. “Drop the gun.” Steve says roughly. 

“Or what? You’ll tell your _asset_ to kill me? Go on, Yasha, Do it. Kill me. I know that's why you were trying to take him all along, Captain. You just wanted to use him for yourself.”

The words unstick Bucky from his spot and his gun is up in an instant. 

“What would Rebecka say?” The man asks. Bucky freezes. Sam sees that his right hand holding the gun starts to shake. 

It clicks in Sam’s head. This is Bucky’s old handler. This is the man who killed Bucky’s sister.

“What did you just say?” Bucky spits.

“What would Rebecka say? To see you here. You’re still an asset, just one on a different side. You’re still nothing, Yasha. Join us again. We can make you even better than before.”

Sam can see Bucky trying to control his breathing and steady himself enough to shoot the man while not injuring Riley. Riley’s eyes are flicking between Sam and Bucky. When they had first entered the room, Riley’s gazed looked shocked but relieved. Now, watching the man that abused Bucky for so long have such an effect on him, Riley starts to look scared. 

Riley was the bravest soldier Sam ever knew. He’d dive head first into a situation that most others would fumble on. Riley would stick his neck out on the line for everyone. It was like fear wasn’t built into him when he was born. As a soldier, he acted first, then reacted later. Sam didn’t see fear in Riley’s eyes until after he had joined SHIELD. Shortly after he’d started, Sam was badly injured during a mission. He remembers Riley flying into his hospital room, eyes wide and scared. He didn’t like the way fear looked on Riley’s features, but even after Riley begged him to quit, he couldn’t stand the thought of fear being on someone’s face that he couldn’t save. Sam couldn’t live with himself if he was off in a house surrounded by a white picket fence while the world was the way it was, while people were being hurt. The best way to get the look of fear off of Riley’s face was for him to leave, so Sam had told him to. 

As soon as Sam sees fear flash through Riley’s eyes at the sight of the hydra handler, Sam springs to action. He aims his gun straight for the man’s knee and fires it. The handler drops to the ground, screaming in agony. Steve runs over to him from where he was standing, raising his shield over the mean threateningly. Sam rushes to Riley’s side. He takes the gag out of Riley’s mouth and untied his wrists quickly. 

“Sam,” Riley breathes. He looks pale. His lips are cracked and his eyes are sunken in from dehydration and lack of sleep. His eyes are mostly unfocused as they take Sam in.

“I’m here.” Sam says, pulling Riley out of the chair and tight to his chest. “I’m here.”

“I knew you'd come,” Riley mumbles. 

Sam quickly turns to Steve, “Steve you need to carry him out. See if you can get an evac. He’s not in good shape and needs fluids STAT.” 

“Right,” Steve says with a nod, “Clear the base. We can blow it after.” 

Steve takes Riley from Sam, picking him up bridal style and running from of the room and out of the base. 

Bucky hurries over to his old handler and places a boot on his chest. “I should kill you, you know.” He hisses, “I should kill you for what you did to her.” 

“Do it..” The man taunts, voice thin because Bucky’s standing on him so hard. “Or… come home.”

“What?” Bucky questions. 

“Come home to us. I know you hurt for your sister, for everyone that you’ve killed. Come home and we can take that all away. You know that we can. We can make you better, Yasha.”

Bucky’s shaking hand pulls the gun up to the man’s head. “Fuck you!” he spits, “I won’t let you take me again. Rebecka wouldn’t want me to. I should kill you for even saying her name.” 

His eyes look hollow, far away. Sam can’t help but think of the first time he met Bucky in Nick Fury’s office. He looked so differently than he does now. He carried himself differently, hid behind his hair. He thinks of Bucky now, the almost carefree way he carries himself, his smiles, his laugh. The Bucky Sam’s gotten to know seems miles away from the shaking, pale faced man he sees with a gun trained on his old handler’s head. Bucky's losing himself in his anger, in his pain.

Bucky looks at Sam then. Sam’s feelings must show on his face because Bucky squeezes his eyes shut tightly. Bucky takes a big shuddering breath then his eyes fly back open again. Sam watches as his arm holding the gun moves and Sam’s entire body tenses, waiting for Bucky to shoot the man, but instead all he does is flip the gun in his hand and whip his handler in the face with it, knocking him out cold. 

Bucky steps away from the man quickly, chest heaving, taking shuddering breaths. He looks over to Sam, his mouth opening and shutting a few times without saying a word.

Sam gives him a nod. “Killing him wouldn’t change anything. Rebecka would be proud of you for making that call. He would probably rather be dead than with SHIELD.”

Bucky takes another breath, steeling himself with it, “He can be used for intel,” he offers, visibly brushing all of his feelings off. Then he goes to pick up the man and sling him over his shoulder. “Let’s blow this place the fuck up.”

They do, as Sam flies high above the base with Bucky in his arms once more, Riley and the Hydra handler safe and secure in the helicopter Steve called for. 

“Wahoo!” Bucky yells, throwing grenade after grenade into the base. Sam watches as the building starts to collapse on itself. It won’t be dust, but it will be disabled enough so that Hydra won’t be able to function out of it any more. Sam can't help but whoop right along with Bucky. 

 

Sam smooths Riley’s hair out of his eyes. He looks worlds better than he did just a few short hours ago. The fluids are helping him immensely. Sam takes Riley’s warm hand into his own and brings it to his lips to give it a kiss. 

Riley stirs. “Hey handsome,” he drawls in his sweet southern accent.

“Hey there,” Sam says, smiling.

“Thank you...for comin’ to get me.”

“I could never leave you in danger, you know that.”

“You never could. Never could leave anyone in danger.”

Sam smiles, “Still can’t.”

Riley squeezes his hand, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. A lot.”

Riley looks at him, really looks at him then says, “Are you happy?”

Sam thinks about watching Riley walk out of their apartment for the last time. He thinks about being alone day after day for years. He thinks about the ache in his chest that lasted for so long after Riley left. He thinks about watching reality TV alone, then thinks about animal documentaries. He thinks about cruise ships and gunshot wounds. He thinks about icy blue eyes that crinkle up at sides with a smile. He thinks about Bucky, about the countless lives they’ve saved. About the good that they’ve done in the world together. He thinks about the feeling he gets after a job well done- a life saved. He thinks about how even thought he might wake with nightmares, he goes to bed every night knowing he's changing the world for the better.

“I am.” He answers confidently. 

“Were you then?” Riley asks him, giving Sam's hand another squeeze.

Sam rubs his thumb over Riley’s hand, “I was. I loved you, so much, but not more than I loved helping people. I’ll never forget our time together and I’ll always keep it close to my heart, but I couldn’t give up what I love the most.” He gives Riley a little smile, “This is where I’m supposed to be. I love the fight, Riley. I love making a good shot. I love flying. I love feeling of the wind around me. I never want to stop feeling that. I’m damn sorry that we didn’t- you couldn’t-”

“I’m glad, then.” Riley says, cutting Sam off and giving a warm smile. “I’m glad you’re happy, Sam.” 

“Me too.” Sam says. He returns Riley’s smile and gives a sigh, feeling the guilt that he’s carried around for not giving up his job at SHIELD leave through it. He leans forward and rests his elbows on Riley's bed. “So tell me, what have you been up to?”

 

When Sam gets home he’s dead tired. He walks up his front steps and groans at the pain in his back from lugging Bucky’s giant ass around the sky. He fumbles with his keys until he gets the front door to his apartment open. What he sees inside is not what he expected. 

Bucky’s tac gear is strewn about his apartment. It’s a fucking mess. The TV’s on full blast and Bucky’s passed out naked on Sam’s couch with the remote dangling from his hands. Sam smiles at it. Just a few months ago he would have lost his mind at the very sight. Now it just feels like coming home, in the best way.

When Sam shuts the front door, Bucky startles awake. Sam raises an eyebrow at him.

“My apartment still has no front door,” He says by explanation of his presence. 

Sam starts laughing, “You made a goddamn mess, Buck.”

“I’ll clean it up later” He extends his arms and motions for Sam to come closer. “Come here. Come be with me.”

Sam does, toeing his shoes off on the way. He lays himself down on top of Bucky’s body. Bucky gives him a kiss. 

“Riley okay?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Sam kisses him again. “We did good today, Barnes.” 

Bucky grins, “We always do.” Then his gaze goes soft. “I just wanted to… I wanted to tell you…” He lets himself trail off, looking for the words to say. Sam starts to giggle at how flustered Bucky’s making himself. He thinks he knows what Bucky is trying to say. Bucky gets even more flustered at Sam's laughter. “I just wanted to tell you that you’re a giant dick, Wilson.” Then he kisses Sam again, reaffirming what Sam already knows through it.

Sam’s giggles turn to laughs that rumble in his chest and spread to Bucky. “Yeah, love you too, Barnes.” 

 

Five days later…

“Will you guys stop making out for five fucking seconds and help me pick out a car? I’m not going all the way back to Pennsylvania to get Bob’s fucking Honda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this journey! I really enjoyed writing it. As always, thanks so much for reading!!  
> If you need a visual for some of Sam and Bucky's hijinks... [ here](http://unclesteeb.tumblr.com/post/147750560811/machine-dove-so-one-of-my-favorite-things-about)!
> 
> Come talk to me on [ tumblr ](unclesteeb.tumblr.com)!


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